I appreciate every little effort you put on me. From the time we had spent together, till money you had wasted on me.
Thank you for all the things you had bought. I cherished every each of it. I still keep the watch and ring nicely in their box. The shoes you bought for me, I still wear them, but not as often as before. The food you introduce to me – I still consider them as one of my favorites and the moment we had created; none will I regret.
Thank you for your effort for always trying to make me happy by buying me things, thank you for keeping me in your list for someone you want to spend on. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts all this while. Thank you for always be that boyfriend material who mentioned gf’s name in your Twitter, who always try to buy good things to her, thank you for treating me like a queen.
I always tell people on how good you treat me. The way you blow my food when its too hot, the way you let me choose the menu, from dessert to main course. The way you won’t let me walk far and always try to find the nearest parking. The way you pulled aside just to make sure my I can put my eyeliner steadily, the way you stay patience when I try to wear my scarf in parking lot even though I could have done that at home. The list goes on and on if I want to.
But you think so little of me.
All the material you bought, none can make me stay.
Where were you when my father admitted in the hospital? Where were you when I was break down due to work load? Where were you when I need the shoulder to cry on? instead of listens to my rambling, you chose to shut me out by buy more things for me. You thought that will calm me down. Honey you were wrong.
Didn’t I tell you before how this soul long for some affection? Not from the way you pat my head, not from the money you spent on me – but from the concern you had on me.
Have you ever worried about me when its raining and you know I have to walk to train station?
It was someone else who asking me whether I brought my umbrella with me.
For 6 years we have been together, have you ever noticed how often I get ulcer?
It was someone else who noticed it and offer to buy medicine for me.
Have you ever noticed how often I finish my work late? What was your concern back then?
How little time I spent on you instead of asking how my day was.
What did you do when I tried to tell my heart out?
You play dumb and try to escape the discussion by making fun of it.
And what was your response when I ask about us and next phase? About bringing me to meet your mom?
You chicken out.
And this too, will goes on and on if I want to.
I am sorry for you were never enough to satisfy my needs. I’m sorry for living in reality where love can’t pay bills, I’m sorry for growing along with my age, I’m sorry for living our dreams behind.
We are all asshole in our own way; and I chose this.