Honestly, it has been a rough year for me. Felt like nothing is working out for me. Lost my grandparents, got rejected for further studies, can’t seem to find a suitable job and the list goes on. I have a lot of things in my mind. Every time I wanted to give up, I remembered my parents who have worked so hard so that I can have a good education and a better life. Giving up is not an option anymore. When people asked me what I have been into lately, I said that I am still looking for ways to further my studies and looking for jobs so that I don’t embarrass my parents in front of my relatives. The truth is I don’t know what to do. Some people question my past decisions and all I can do is smile, bitterly. Little that they know, if they can remember that even when I once told them that, imagine me the one who’s making the decisions feel like. I have to live with that decision even when that decision can change my life. Every time people brought it up I felt so terrible for my self. I just hope they did not say it anymore. I am holding on to the people who cared about me the most. I certainly don’t want to be a burden to them. I have always thought that it could have been worse. As optimistic and positive I am, I can’t help but feel like I am a screw-up. But since it is almost the end of the year, I hope that next year is going to be a better year.
I am not writing this to gain sympathy, I just wanted to say to those who are struggling too, just know that you are loved regardless of whatever you are struggling with. My hardships may seem nothing compared to yours, but eventually, everything is going to be okay. You are going to be okay. I am writing this in case you need someone to tell you that you are doing great. And believe me, you are doing great. Keep being you and do what you need to do. We are worth it.