we always thought, that when we give in so much that we would get something back in return.
that’s what we always do, we hope.
but they never actually tell you that hopes can actually kill. not physically.
it could ache every single part of you, and every single inch of happiness left in your heart.
remember what breaks the hope breaks you even more and day by day it gets more sombre than it already is.
but was it because of hope?
or was it because you miss your significant other.
was it because you felt this aching pain in your chest longing for so long because you never get the do the routine you’ve been used to for so long.
was it actually because knowing you won’t be on the phone at night where their voice are your ultimate lullaby to sleep.
was it because you longed for the love that was lost to come back, then you left an empty space in your heart for them to come back.
now then you had hope.
you had hope they would.
you had hope they would come back.
so you waited.
but they never did.
so was it really hope breaking you?
did hope really break you in the first place?
because you had hope they would stay but they didn’t.
because something happened and you didn’t know how to fix it so both of you gave up.
did you gave up?
were you lost at words or were your ego holding you back.
did you thought of winning at the urge of losing them, or you thought of giving in and tried again.
even when you tried to make it better,
were they the ones who lost it?
now you’re breaking.
because they lost it and they left and they blame you but sometimes they come back just to pour a little bit of hope in you.
just to see they never coming back.
lovers are a bunch of fragile rocks.
when you hold it too tight,
you shatter like glass.
looking strong on the outside but barely making it on what they really feel.
hoping for someone to care for it but it never comes even with so little of hope.
it leaves a void in you.
so you break.
time heals but you don’t really forget the pain.
you miss it. you miss everything.
and that hope breaks you even more seeing them with another soul.
i’m sorry that i held your hand so tight,
that i never realised i might be hurting you.
i’m sorry i get so insecure sometimes.
i’m sorry i get jealous easily.
i’m sorry i still had hopes for you.
i’m sorry that i still miss you the most.
but i’m never sorry i loved you.
even when you break me too.