Slowly, my hands traced the tape that sealed the box tight
I nervously opened the package you sent
I knew instantly the moment I saw the floral shirt I gave to you for your birthday
I remembered wanting to give you a surprise and it still upsets me that I couldn’t make it happen
A letter and a belated birthday card came with it
Although I can’t recall everything you wrote, but I knew that we are a lost cause then.
I woke up
Chest tightened, breath short
I guess that’s what anxiety would feel like
It hit me so hard that night that I’m not the reason for those goofy smiles anymore.
It’s 2 am.
And I feel all heartbreaks that’s happened to me, is happening all at once.