why am I start to write? Because I don’t know how to convey words verbally. and I just end up writing of what I feel inside. tho it is tiring sometimes, because I got like one one whole novel running thru my mind at the same time, but I will just keep writing and it will randomly jumped from one topic to another. I will feel sooo grateful whenever I finished writing, at least I still can write my thoughts tho I cant say it. I think about a lots of thing at the same time, if people can see what is actually happened inside my freaking awesome brain, they would be thankful for not being me. Its to chaotic, and suffocated and tiring, but thats how things are here. I’ll try not to give up and keep writing. I ask myself to be more patient and I start to enjoy writing so much and it just become habit. As I write and write, I learned a lot of things. I reflect myself more and living my life better. This world were not created by God to be easy, things will be hard, and the paradise tho, were not created if its not meant for those who struggles and try hard to face the difficulties. Why is it we have to face hardship, trials, tribulations? Because when we succeed. it will become much more meaningful and amazingly sweet. The best feeling ever. Like when we refrain ouselves not to eat during ramadhan, but then because of our patience and the food that we got to eat during breaking fast, it becomes much more scrumptious and delicious. That’s why God make it like that. When people ask me how can I write something to motivate people but you’re still depressed, but thats how I try to recover myself. Making people happy, making their God happy, then insyaAllah with my effort. all the bad feelings and depressing feeling, it will end. things will be hard for you everyday, but how I am trying to be positive and spread good vibes can actually brighten my mood up. Hopefully, I can overcome my every little fear and depression, one day.

Rambling thoughts, broken and healing, 22
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