Stars and Satellites

When I was a child
my father and I
used to sit outside our home
at night,
and just gaze into
the infinite skies.

He puffed away his cigarettes
and I,
was just happy to be
by his side.
We had a routine every time,
where we’d look up to the sky
and try to tell apart
the stars from the satellites.

They both burned brightly, he told me,
at least as far as the naked eye could see.
And just like us human beings,
they too,
had their own specialty,
because even though the satellites
had a more radiant glow,
and were far easier to spot,
the stars glimmered its lights
like glitters
across the sky.

Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are.

But he told me that stars are not ‘little’
as I’d like to believe.
He told me that our eyes
can sometimes deceive.
That even the smallest stars
are bigger than the earth
and we should not judge,
or make assumptions,
Or jump into conclusions
based on what
we cannot really see.

He told me that satellites
were artificial moons
designed for multiple usage:
To communicate, navigate, educate
It is a creation that’s man-made
to reach that of the God’s.
So we could learn
and learn to appreciate.
So when the stars are shadowed
by the dark skies,
we could still look up and see a light
amidst the darkness.
That was the day that I learned
everything had its purpose.

Once he told me,
you are just like the star
that I’ve described to you.
You are a constellation of your virtues,
hopes and dreams.
A whole person made up of fragments
of thoughts and memories.
A collection of bad decisions, good decisions,
and everything in between.
I was far too young
to understand
what he actually meant,
so I happily replied
If I were star,
you’d HAVE to be my satellite.
And all he did was smile.

But how naive was I,
Because stars and satellites
were only meant to somewhat align
and appear on the same sky.
But separated from miles
and never made to collide.

And my star has died.

My star has ran out of fuel supply.
My star is now only a stellar remnant
in the form of a black hole,
sucking everything I have ever known
and everything I’ve loved
faster
than the speed of light.
And I am lost.
I am navigating through life,
without a map in hand
crossing stream after stream
even though I’ve never learned to swim.
Taking unfamiliar roads,
And I don’t know where they lead exactly
but at least I’m still walking.

And I wonder if he’d be proud of me.

I still sit outside of my home
from time to time
alone.
I light up a cigarette and breathe in
the nicotine,
just for that familiar scent
of him again.
I hold up it up, still burning on one end
it feels like catching
a falling star in my hand.

And as I let my chemical-laced breath
warm up the night breeze,
I know for sure
that he is with me.

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2 thoughts on “Stars and Satellites

  1. Cant say im an avid fan of poetry, but this one is my favourite, this poem made me feel calm and warm somehow when you recited this. well i was there twice.

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