It is unlikely me to miss someone.
I can’t remember the dream vividly or crystal clearly. It was just the feelings that were quite overwhelming that makes me remember the unclear dream. I just remember that he showed up in my dream. He came out of nowhere. Maybe I recalled seeing quite a thick haze surrounded him. Or else, clearly it was JUST my wild imagination. I remember grabbing his hand, particularly his arm and laid my head on his arm very dearly. Just I mentioned, I can’t remember the scene as clear as day. But I’m pretty sure, I held his hand so tight as if I want to remember every inch of it. Of how does it feel if he was still by my side. His warmth vibes was intense, but too bad I didn’t look up to see his smile.
It doesn’t feel any special that very moment. It was exceptionally ordinary. It was good.
Being in his arm effortlessly make me feel like a 12 year old girl all over again and I can’t help but realise how much I miss him.
After all this time?
Always. I wish I could spend more time with you. I wish you could have seen me growing up to be a girl that you can rely and proud of. We could have been holding hands and I would tell you every story about my school like I always did. I wish you could see that this little girl you have seen throughout your life, is not really a little girl anymore. You are just someone that I want to show off my results after those struggles. You must have been proud of me.
I just miss you.
Nah, I’m not writing any sad love story here.
It was my grandfather. He passed away almost 9 years ago. I visited his grave at least twice, every year after he left us all. I never really cried each time. We recited Al-Fatihah and prayed for him. Maybe, it just because, I always believe that he and my grandmother must be in such a beautiful place. They deserved at least that. A beautiful garden that he would love (he was an awesome gardener with magic hands).
He was a very nice old man that anyone could imagine and ask for. Same goes with my grandmother. Aren’t we just so blessed, that we don’t actually really deserve these kind souls?
Till we meet again, in a beautiful waiting. And again, the one who really loved us, never really leave us, isn’t it?
ps: of grammatical errors and some tears.