Procrastinate

It was a relatively gloomy day.

I sat on my bed, staring at the wall, practically drilling holes into it. Trying to think of something fun to do. In other words, something that will help me procrastinate even more.

I heard a familiar voice clearing their throat behind me.

I look over my shoulder. My bag pack, which I threw on my bed right before I joined a few hours ago, gave me a nasty look.

“Well?” they said, “Aren’t you going to start with your work now?”

“Maybe later,” I said, turning my head back to the wall to resume my staring competition.

They audibly huffed at my unwillingness to cooperate. They said, “It’s not even a difficult assignment. It would only take you 10 minutes! If you do it now you can have the rest of the day for yourself, I promise you.”

I hummed, mostly to let them know I was listening. And I was. And they were right, too. My lecturer just wanted us to research some topics and provide bullet point information regarding said topics, so a brief Google search was all it took to get it done, really. But alas, I was stuck in my own head again.

I heard the rumbles of thunder from outside. It was only 5pm but the darkness of the night had come early. I blinked for what felt like the first time in the last 5 minutes and could feel how dry they were. Blink. Blink. I idly chewed on my lips. My stomach was groaning and moaning away, constantly reminding me to go downstairs and fill it with something.

My brain finally tried to make sense of it all, and I rubbed my stomach, trying to calm it down.

I looked over to my bag pack. Silent, inanimate. The zipper was opened and I could see my pink notebook peeking out, hoping for me to reach for it, please, please.

But alas, I was stuck in my head again.

How am I supposed to express what I have been repressing for the past 10 years?
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