My wife lied to me.
She didn’t think I knew, but I did
It’s all in the way she breathes.
She said she was fine
But I saw the way she took a breath so deep, it straightened her spine
She only does that when she’s sinking
Thinking too much till she’s drowning.
Whatever it was, it bugged her till bedtime
She breathed in through her nose, eyes closed
Breathed out through her mouth and opened her eyes
She was wishing the thought to a faraway land
Willing to focus on what was in front of her instead.
The next day when I hugged her from behind,
Her breath hitched – she was surprised.
God, I could feel her heartbeat
It was racing, with something other than love
I wasn’t quite sure if I liked it.
In the evening she was out of breath
She sounded the way she usually does after sex
But it was funny to listen to the sound on the phone
While I was still at work and she was at home. Alone.
I know what you’re thinking and I agree
The missus can have fun without me
But like I said, I know how she breathes,
I know ‘one’ is different than ‘two’
And now I wonder if there’s a ‘three’, minus me.
I tried to test my 1+1 theory
But that night she didn’t moan my name quite the same
She was breathless, yes, but she didn’t even look at me.
So I put two and two together but then I got angry.
The next thing I knew, my missus wasn’t breathing
I was confused. I never saw her did that
So I pulled my hands away from her neck and called the police
Then they put me in handcuffs, but I still don’t know why they did that.