Muted


A&W

She was sipping the last few drops of her fish porridge, when she caught a pair of eyes staring. The same eyes she caught last week. This time it lasted about 10 seconds, yeah I counted that through my stopwatch on my hand. Desperate enough? No, wait for my extreme ‘desperado’ vibe. I could sense her blood rushed up her face as her cheeks turned rosy. Oh those puffy rosy cheeks, how I wished I could just pinch them straight away.

“Enough with the girl, bro!” frightened by Sam’s pat on my back, I jumped a little on that cafe chair. The second I turned, her glimpse left me at the corner of the cafe building. No luck again this time.

I just chuckled before replying, “I know.. She’s too beautiful for someone like me. She depicts an angel”

The reply was promptly followed by some hysterical laughs. Aha, they were the other two guys’, Ben and Sani. We’ve been best friends ever since high school followed by a whole solid foundation year before hitting this ‘never-ending’ hectic Medical School. Every single day seemed like a torture playing with thousand of medically scientific terms to be memorized, hundreds of diseases to be remembered, and non-stop upcoming patients to be visited. Nonetheless, I could stay here in this school forever provided that rosy angel would be here with me too. Greedy, a trait embedded in me. ‘Rosy Angel’ that was what I decided to call her ever since.

“I heard she’s one of the volunteers at the cancer department. How awkward, she doesn’t speak at all as what the people there told me. When I said ‘at all’, I meant it. Could she be mute? Plus, she’s a hijabi, and since when is a hijabi listed under your criterion for girls, bro?”

Sani voiced out later that night while I was mindlessly staring outside the dorm window. The air was so thick while the breeze was so cold since the monsoon season was on, somehow my receptors were deactivated. He tried to convince me of my personal taste and I could not agree more. Based on my previous relations, the girls were always bubbly and lively, yet still well-mannered as well as well-dressed. But, this time, I knew it was different. So I tried to recalculate of all the sudden sparks that had been held me tightly, all those ‘drowned in her warm dark hazel eyes moments’ I caught each time, and also plus the fact that I could even ridiculously sense her presence from feet away. Insanity was my best friend and without a single doubt, I stood by my judgement that indeed, she was different.

“Who the hell is she who keeps lingering inside my head ?!?”

Even the voice inside me agreed with the insanity. As I was walking passed the old pretty eerie hospital building that fine evening, the only passage to my dorm room, the vibe felt was different. I saw the familiar figure vividly, and there she was, my ‘Rosy Angel’ sitting on the bench facing the parking lot. My steps slowly stopped, I could feel my pupil dilated instantly, and my whole body was shaking like a dog. Oh well, calm was not the best option as sweats started to drench out my white coat, and worst when I could not even hear my heartbeat to the point I almost put my stethoscope on just to make sure that the heart was pumping well, circulating my oxygenated blood up to my brain. Wait, did it actually skip a beat?

My day ended with only a word to describe- Traumatized. Sani was right, she was mute. Not a word came out of her, she responded using texts written on this e-notebook she kept inside her bag as a communication medium. Despite that her hearing was normal, yet still it was an awful shocking truth aside from patient death, it caused my anger to slip and I ignorantly blamed God for creating such preciously beautiful girl but unfortunately a silent. I remember how obvious her nervousness shown as I approached her, she turned rosy again and my heart melted. We shared few informative words, and while I was still in my sanity on blaming God for the flaw, I suggested for a date. Surprisingly, she smiled. And, my heart melted, again, like a knob of good butter melting on a hot bun. But, a date with a silent girl? What was I thinking?

“WHAT IS THIS?” She wrote on her blank e-note. Capitalized. She was obviously mad to see the unexpected gift.

“Err….a bouquet of roses?” I responded in my cracked voice, trying to absorb what was the actual issue.

“NO! NO FLOWERS! NO MORE MONEY WASTED ON FLOWERS!” capitalized, again.

I was not sure how to respond to that. She grabbed it and walked to the nearest girl she could possibly approach and handed those MYR 200 fresh red roses. As simple as that, my heart crushed. However, I was more than frowned, I was amazed. Tell me which girl just isn’t into flowers? Tell me which girl is actually bothered by money wasted on flowers for herself? So, I gambled my luck for another couple of surprises to revoke my miserable failure. I bought this gigantic teddy bear those girls would normally go frantic about. I thought it would be nice for her to see it on her car that late afternoon and had her serotonin boosted excessively to save me this time. But guess what, I saw the same teddy bear at the Cancer Department the morning after, with little kids drooled all over it at the corner. I was not amazed anymore, neither was I crushed, but I was in love, instead.

To be continued

He spends waaaaaaaaay too much time on this, but he finds joy in nothing else. Go easy on him.
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