I asked for an inch of happiness to seed inside of me but all god gave to me was countless nights of not sleeping, staring the walls seeking for a remedy for my perpetual sorrow. I tried to surrender myself to the dark beneath my bed, perhaps the boogeyman could cheer me up but all i found was cobwebs, intricate as the many red strings strangling my beating heart which I am unable to untie. Same goes to the Radiohead tracks I religiously listen to every moment of my life, not even Jonny Greenwood could pull me out of the oblivion that I’ve cursed to dwell in.
I am the embodiment of perfect misery, trapped in a state of impending doom, an hourglass that bound to shatter.
I need some company but it seems that the only company that I’ll ever have is solitude & loneliness.
I need friends but my only friends are the ugly entities inside my head.
I need everything & anything that could somehow complete the jigsaw puzzle that is my life but i have found none in between.
My whole existence is bound to be warped in a black hole, whenever i am trying my best to be on my best behaviour i am
forced back into the impending doom of negativity that rooted inside of every fiber of my body.
I am a void, an impasse.
You can’t mend these wounds.
Don’t even bother to try.