December 17, 2016 in Uncategorized

If i hold the power to control time i would take the spirit and joy i had and place it into my present heart

If i were to write the book about us, I will write every possible happy endings we deserved or so we think we deserved

But this isnt my favourite 80s movies,

this isnt our favourite song

this isnt the poem u can so freely recite

This is a fight i cannot win

A game made for me to lose

a story where it ends too early

a song no one wants to sing dearly

Here lies a soul that leaves in all sadness and lonely

So take a seat and pretend to weep a little

Her story goes like this and without a title

Those who cared were too little

She was never very likeable

She was loved though dont be mistaken

The world was too heavy for her God forsaken

Her piece couldnt fit anywhere in the puzzle

Alas she lost her battle

Goodbye she said and hope to be forgiven

She doesnt expect to be in heaven

Or so how her lasts words were written




Secreta Secretorum

November 28, 2016 in Uncategorized


Got a secret
Can you keep it?
Swear this one you’ll save
Better lock it in your pocket
Taking this one to the grave
If I show you then I know you won’t tell what I said
‘Cause two can keep a secret if one of them is dead

– The Pierces


1, 2, 3, just how many can you keep

Dirty, silly, the horrendous and the lies

Sins that keeps you from your sleep

Nothing creeps on you better than the things you did in the dark or behind doors

Things you dont want them to know

As the year adds up they will only grow

You can shove them under the carpet or lock them in your closet

Let me tell you a secret these skeletons have a way of coming out

Some trade them like dimes in their pocket

You knew better than to let this one out

You promised you’d never tell

You swore you’ll take it to hell

Even the devil himself keeps his promise because it is sacred

Same goes when confidentiality is offered when one shares a secret

Words are to be kept, only rules get to be broken

What was shared in privacy must remain unspoken

Haven’t you heard breaking a pinky will only bring tragedy

Now you’ve got yourself in deep trouble honey

Hush now no one must know

You know you cannot stay

This is the only way

At the flick of my tongue
and the vicious wrath of the flaring sun

May the flame be blinding in sight

Devour this body to dust

So long as the blood still runs

Burn baby burn


Lost Glory, War is always ugly

November 20, 2016 in Poetry/Puisi

The weight of the world hit me like a tsunami
Breaking my ever fragile body.
Crushing the walls i built
Made of logic , conscience and guilt
I was overthrown again from my empire’s throne
Forced to watch my army fall as I stand alone
The enemies marched forward like thunderbolts
Untangling every screws and bolts
The metals i placed as my defense base.
On war again cant lose me now
Lose me now
Save me now
Lose me now
Love me how
Love me how I asked.
Beaten on the ground
Bruised and unfound
Begging you please dont let go
While you tell me how you need to go
Screamings go unheard
Pleading deafened into the silence of the night
Where’s my knight?
Forgetting im the queen
I need to win
The devil sucked my last ounce of strength
One struck and its the end.
I lost again

Pandemonium Pocket

October 31, 2016 in Uncategorized

Pick and pluck

to the ticks and tocks

Running against this idea of time.

Always looking at the watch as they rhyme

Making sure every second counts

 to place the edges to the squares and the curve for the rounds

Set to sail far leaving traces at the end of the tongue

 The piles grow bigger and there’s no telling what’s treasure and what’s junk

The answers found to the questions asked lost in wretched memory

Lost and figuring this should be familiar if it was to be done on the daily

Ball of endless yarn remains untangled still and messy as ever.

Life began to wonder if this is going to take forever.

Pieces and puzzles unmatches itself over broken keys and closed holes.

Danger and malice creeps into souls.

What you learn changes as easy as the habit of slipping one’s hand into the pocket

Elongating distances raising the bar flying high as the rocket


October 13, 2016 in Uncategorized

How could I a tiny being in this ever growing vast universe

Surpass the supreme and the harmonically synchronized mechanism that runs  unrehearsed.

How could I ever paint the sky with such tiny hands, staging sunset in my very own colours

The morning air that had that the same essence yet never fails to hum a different tune for the attentive ears

Each passing moment at every corner of the earth, stories played out, of loss and love, of hope and dreams

To think of the endless probabilities and what it is may not be what it may seem

How could I ever think of touching a person’s heart, to have my gaze returned and claim you to be my right?

How will I ever have your eyes fixed on me and your hands searching for my skin in the daylight or the blackness of the night

To finally meet you eye to eye, in each other’s arm, sipping in each other’s breath so we could play our parts, the romance and the theatrics

Prancing through and water every burning flame of hate and the skeptics

All this would be possible with the secret key of what holds the world together

If I could set a small change like letting the butterfly in my hand flap its wings before I could even blink

It is to have our parallel line move just a degree closer, intersecting somewhere so that will be our link

Crashing the walls of impossibility grounded still to gravity,

To our loneliness this will be the remedy






September 21, 2016 in Uncategorized

We raise a toast for someone or something
Only to find our cup empty.
We pretend to drink from it
Only to get a cut realizing it was already chipped.
Lick our lips to hide it
Remembering that we coloured our lips blood red so it wont matter anyway
Smile when they smile
As you break more inside with gush of emotion flooding in.
Wishing it was you that they were raising their cups for
For a cup of joy to run down your throat too
So you can be happy for them and they, you.

Our playlist

September 16, 2016 in Uncategorized

Wherever we go the music follows, Whenever we’re together the songs written about love finds their way to us teasing us of ours.
Two souls tethered, laced by notes and harmony.
Through love we create a symphony 




September 15, 2016 in Uncategorized

You, me, us

The young ones

We want and try so hard to be different from another

Yet crave and yearn for what’s on others.

Our individuality worn outside as our identity

Inside, our heart sings for the same thing in unity

For love and success

Instead we’re broken and depressed

Voice repressed and emotions suppressed

We speak like birds and like birds the meaning goes unheard

We used to play with imaginations running wild

Sun on our skin our heads high

Now we play with smokes to get high

Party hard to numb the pain in our heart

Seeing the resilient and the brilliant marches their way

As we crawl to make it through the day

Its no longer the norm to be normal

What’s normal these days is to be nocturnal








September 6, 2016 in Uncategorized

I hope whenever you see a cat, you’ll be reminded of the cat we use to feed together

Whenever you write a letter, you’ll be reminded of everything i ever told you to fix them

Whenever you hear the word promise your throat tightens strangled by the one we made but never fulfill

Whenever you eat fries and ice cream, you’ll be reminded of the things we like in common despite our differences

I hope whenever you hear that song in our favourite movie, you’ll remember how we used to sing the song together

Whenever you hold someone in your arms, you’ll be reminded of how i hated hugs but i let you do it anyway

I hope on your wedding day you’ll realize that was supposed to be me by your side helping you to walk the aisle behind your father

I hope that everytime you’re with her you’ll wish that it was me before you instead

I dont wish the worst for you i just wish that you’ll be haunted by the things that haunts me too.

Chasing Sunrise and the Sea Breeze

September 6, 2016 in Uncategorized

Five years later after falling apart

We found ourselves back together

For probably the last adventure

We’ve had our share of pain with our differences

Things happened and life’s a river

The current pulled us away from each other

Arguments made in silence disappeared as we grew older

You could say the years passed made us more mature

We wish each other nothing but success and everything better

Maybe not all of us stayed through

At least we know now who’s really true.

Like old times we explored the cities once more 

Knowing we might not be able to do this anymore

We chased the sunrise and woke up with the sea breeze blowing in our worn out faces.

Breathed the air filled with salt traces

Just us in a car that’s not even our own

Whatever the plan is remain unknown.

We followed wherever the road takes us.

Before reality and responsibilities catches us.

This is our little escape.

One last time for the friendship we have

To do what was due before we bid each other adieu


September 3, 2016 in Uncategorized

When you get compliments from others how do you feel? I believe how you feel when people compliment you mirrors how you see yourself and your level of confidence. Whenever people compliment me, I used to feel more inferior and shrivel into my own pool of thoughts that tells me that people give compliments for two reasons, to win you to make themselves likeable as a person, second, sarcasm. Remember that scene from Mean Girls? I did this for way too long and i get so comfortable with the idea that im not what they say I am. Not because of them, but because of how I take their compliments and turned it all around and assumed the worst of myself especially when I start comparing. One time, someone complimented me, and I just thought why not say thanks and feel good for a while instead of turning this one around. So I smiled and say “Thank you”. A compliment finally felt good instead. I figured why not take it if it means that it boosts your self esteem. Let compliments makes you more confident and humbles you. You dont always have to doubt. No matter what their intention, choose to take it positively. Let it not stop you from working to feel , be , and look better. From this day on, when people compliment you I say, take it and say thank you. They have done you a favor regardless of their intention.

With love, Romeo and Juliet

September 2, 2016 in 50/50 First Cycle

Let our blood shed in the name of love

Our body reeks with enmity

Of the two tribes, sworn enemies

Let not our death be in vain

Mark this day as the end

Of cruelty and indecencies

Tell your sons and daughters

The tale of forbidden lovers

May the heaven forgive us all

Midnight Treat

September 2, 2016 in 50/50 First Cycle

Guide your steps to me my dear with the heaviness of your soul

Let me enchant you and take that soft red lips against mine

 Your weight in my embrace

As I taste your sweetness

 Hoping that your blood lifts me

from this curse of the creature of the night

Little Gypsy

August 31, 2016 in Uncategorized

The ghosts of my past visits me at night

Sometimes they come alone

Sometimes together.

Hauntings of the time we had together

The life I used to have is from one roller coaster to another

Sometimes its all fun and thrilling and other times im terrified and horrified

All I know is that we keep moving from one place to another

Like a gypsy, I keep saying goodbye, leaving everything behind and off to the next ride.

I cant stay the minute people recognize what I  am and what I am made of.

The best dream and the worst nightmare you’ll ever have

The past few years being in the same place is driving me mad.

Im a walking storm that starts out as the soft wind that touches your skin

As time passes by I’ll grow violent and crushes the right places under it to the core

Burning every bridge ever built to dust

I’ve grown tired of this same cycle.

I want to be connected in a way that even when apart we’re still close

The kind that is safe and grounded.

I want a ride that doesnt end when the track does.

I want to travel while never having to leave it all behind

I want to build a home that I can come back to and call you mine




Yang benar,Babi

August 27, 2016 in Uncategorized

Di sini apa apa pun

Babi jugalah yang dipersalahkan

Kau buat taik

Nama babi yang naik

Walhal aku cumalah binatang sama seperti binatang lain

Bezanya aku haram

Haram tapi bukan hina

Gemuk macam babi

Buruk macam babi

Eh macam kau juga kaum aku ada cantik ada buruk

ada kurus ada gemuk

Adilkah kau samakan aku dengan kau sedangkan kau jalan berkaki dua aku berkaki empat

Sekurang kurangnya aku duduk hutan, atau dibela tak macam kau suka merempat

Aku makan dedaklah bila masa aku makan duit haram

Mungkin aku buruk dah nama pun binatang takkanlah aku nak melaram

Aku tak pernah guna emergency lane kecuali lah kalau dah takde jalan lain

Aku takkan buat celaka tengah jalan aku tau tempat aku dalam hutan.

Aku tak merompak merogol aku cuma main tidur makan.

Jangan samakan aku dengan kau orang yang perangai mcm setan.

Jangan libatkan aku yang tiada kaitan.

Babi cumalah babi

Stop jadikan kami bahan hinaan


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