December 17, 2016 in Uncategorized
If i hold the power to control time i would take the spirit and joy i had and place it into my present heart
If i were to write the book about us, I will write every possible happy endings we deserved or so we think we deserved
But this isnt my favourite 80s movies,
this isnt our favourite song
this isnt the poem u can so freely recite
This is a fight i cannot win
A game made for me to lose
a story where it ends too early
a song no one wants to sing dearly
Here lies a soul that leaves in all sadness and lonely
So take a seat and pretend to weep a little
Her story goes like this and without a title
Those who cared were too little
She was never very likeable
She was loved though dont be mistaken
The world was too heavy for her God forsaken
Her piece couldnt fit anywhere in the puzzle
Alas she lost her battle
Goodbye she said and hope to be forgiven
She doesnt expect to be in heaven
Or so how her lasts words were written
November 28, 2016 in Uncategorized
Got a secret
Can you keep it?
Swear this one you’ll save
Better lock it in your pocket
Taking this one to the grave
If I show you then I know you won’t tell what I said
‘Cause two can keep a secret if one of them is dead
– The Pierces
1, 2, 3, just how many can you keep
Dirty, silly, the horrendous and the lies
Sins that keeps you from your sleep
Nothing creeps on you better than the things you did in the dark or behind doors
Things you dont want them to know
As the year adds up they will only grow
You can shove them under the carpet or lock them in your closet
Let me tell you a secret these skeletons have a way of coming out
Some trade them like dimes in their pocket
You knew better than to let this one out
You promised you’d never tell
You swore you’ll take it to hell
Even the devil himself keeps his promise because it is sacred
Same goes when confidentiality is offered when one shares a secret
Words are to be kept, only rules get to be broken
What was shared in privacy must remain unspoken
Haven’t you heard breaking a pinky will only bring tragedy
Now you’ve got yourself in deep trouble honey
Hush now no one must know
You know you cannot stay
This is the only way
At the flick of my tongue
and the vicious wrath of the flaring sun
May the flame be blinding in sight
Devour this body to dust
So long as the blood still runs
Burn baby burn
November 20, 2016 in Poetry/Puisi
The weight of the world hit me like a tsunami
Breaking my ever fragile body.
Crushing the walls i built
Made of logic , conscience and guilt
I was overthrown again from my empire’s throne
Forced to watch my army fall as I stand alone
The enemies marched forward like thunderbolts
Untangling every screws and bolts
The metals i placed as my defense base.
On war again cant lose me now
Lose me now
Save me now
Lose me now
Love me how
Love me how I asked.
Beaten on the ground
Bruised and unfound
Begging you please dont let go
While you tell me how you need to go
Screamings go unheard
Pleading deafened into the silence of the night
Where’s my knight?
Forgetting im the queen
I need to win
The devil sucked my last ounce of strength
One struck and its the end.
I lost again
October 31, 2016 in Uncategorized
Pick and pluck
to the ticks and tocks
Running against this idea of time.
Always looking at the watch as they rhyme
Making sure every second counts
to place the edges to the squares and the curve for the rounds
Set to sail far leaving traces at the end of the tongue
The piles grow bigger and there’s no telling what’s treasure and what’s junk
The answers found to the questions asked lost in wretched memory
Lost and figuring this should be familiar if it was to be done on the daily
Ball of endless yarn remains untangled still and messy as ever.
Life began to wonder if this is going to take forever.
Pieces and puzzles unmatches itself over broken keys and closed holes.
Danger and malice creeps into souls.
What you learn changes as easy as the habit of slipping one’s hand into the pocket
Elongating distances raising the bar flying high as the rocket
October 13, 2016 in Uncategorized
How could I a tiny being in this ever growing vast universe
Surpass the supreme and the harmonically synchronized mechanism that runs unrehearsed.
How could I ever paint the sky with such tiny hands, staging sunset in my very own colours
The morning air that had that the same essence yet never fails to hum a different tune for the attentive ears
Each passing moment at every corner of the earth, stories played out, of loss and love, of hope and dreams
To think of the endless probabilities and what it is may not be what it may seem
How could I ever think of touching a person’s heart, to have my gaze returned and claim you to be my right?
How will I ever have your eyes fixed on me and your hands searching for my skin in the daylight or the blackness of the night
To finally meet you eye to eye, in each other’s arm, sipping in each other’s breath so we could play our parts, the romance and the theatrics
Prancing through and water every burning flame of hate and the skeptics
All this would be possible with the secret key of what holds the world together
If I could set a small change like letting the butterfly in my hand flap its wings before I could even blink
It is to have our parallel line move just a degree closer, intersecting somewhere so that will be our link
Crashing the walls of impossibility grounded still to gravity,
To our loneliness this will be the remedy
September 21, 2016 in Uncategorized
We raise a toast for someone or something
Only to find our cup empty.
We pretend to drink from it
Only to get a cut realizing it was already chipped.
Lick our lips to hide it
Remembering that we coloured our lips blood red so it wont matter anyway
Smile when they smile
As you break more inside with gush of emotion flooding in.
Wishing it was you that they were raising their cups for
For a cup of joy to run down your throat too
So you can be happy for them and they, you.
September 15, 2016 in Uncategorized
You, me, us
The young ones
We want and try so hard to be different from another
Yet crave and yearn for what’s on others.
Our individuality worn outside as our identity
Inside, our heart sings for the same thing in unity
For love and success
Instead we’re broken and depressed
Voice repressed and emotions suppressed
We speak like birds and like birds the meaning goes unheard
We used to play with imaginations running wild
Sun on our skin our heads high
Now we play with smokes to get high
Party hard to numb the pain in our heart
Seeing the resilient and the brilliant marches their way
As we crawl to make it through the day
Its no longer the norm to be normal
What’s normal these days is to be nocturnal
September 6, 2016 in Uncategorized
I hope whenever you see a cat, you’ll be reminded of the cat we use to feed together
Whenever you write a letter, you’ll be reminded of everything i ever told you to fix them
Whenever you hear the word promise your throat tightens strangled by the one we made but never fulfill
Whenever you eat fries and ice cream, you’ll be reminded of the things we like in common despite our differences
I hope whenever you hear that song in our favourite movie, you’ll remember how we used to sing the song together
Whenever you hold someone in your arms, you’ll be reminded of how i hated hugs but i let you do it anyway
I hope on your wedding day you’ll realize that was supposed to be me by your side helping you to walk the aisle behind your father
I hope that everytime you’re with her you’ll wish that it was me before you instead
I dont wish the worst for you i just wish that you’ll be haunted by the things that haunts me too.
September 6, 2016 in Uncategorized
Five years later after falling apart
We found ourselves back together
For probably the last adventure
We’ve had our share of pain with our differences
Things happened and life’s a river
The current pulled us away from each other
Arguments made in silence disappeared as we grew older
You could say the years passed made us more mature
We wish each other nothing but success and everything better
Maybe not all of us stayed through
At least we know now who’s really true.
Like old times we explored the cities once more
Knowing we might not be able to do this anymore
We chased the sunrise and woke up with the sea breeze blowing in our worn out faces.
Breathed the air filled with salt traces
Just us in a car that’s not even our own
Whatever the plan is remain unknown.
We followed wherever the road takes us.
Before reality and responsibilities catches us.
This is our little escape.
One last time for the friendship we have
To do what was due before we bid each other adieu
September 3, 2016 in Uncategorized
When you get compliments from others how do you feel? I believe how you feel when people compliment you mirrors how you see yourself and your level of confidence. Whenever people compliment me, I used to feel more inferior and shrivel into my own pool of thoughts that tells me that people give compliments for two reasons, to win you to make themselves likeable as a person, second, sarcasm. Remember that scene from Mean Girls? I did this for way too long and i get so comfortable with the idea that im not what they say I am. Not because of them, but because of how I take their compliments and turned it all around and assumed the worst of myself especially when I start comparing. One time, someone complimented me, and I just thought why not say thanks and feel good for a while instead of turning this one around. So I smiled and say “Thank you”. A compliment finally felt good instead. I figured why not take it if it means that it boosts your self esteem. Let compliments makes you more confident and humbles you. You dont always have to doubt. No matter what their intention, choose to take it positively. Let it not stop you from working to feel , be , and look better. From this day on, when people compliment you I say, take it and say thank you. They have done you a favor regardless of their intention.
September 2, 2016 in 50/50 First Cycle
Let our blood shed in the name of love
Our body reeks with enmity
Of the two tribes, sworn enemies
Let not our death be in vain
Mark this day as the end
Of cruelty and indecencies
Tell your sons and daughters
The tale of forbidden lovers
May the heaven forgive us all
September 2, 2016 in 50/50 First Cycle
Guide your steps to me my dear with the heaviness of your soul
Let me enchant you and take that soft red lips against mine
Your weight in my embrace
As I taste your sweetness
Hoping that your blood lifts me
from this curse of the creature of the night
August 31, 2016 in Uncategorized
The ghosts of my past visits me at night
Sometimes they come alone
Hauntings of the time we had together
The life I used to have is from one roller coaster to another
Sometimes its all fun and thrilling and other times im terrified and horrified
All I know is that we keep moving from one place to another
Like a gypsy, I keep saying goodbye, leaving everything behind and off to the next ride.
I cant stay the minute people recognize what I am and what I am made of.
The best dream and the worst nightmare you’ll ever have
The past few years being in the same place is driving me mad.
Im a walking storm that starts out as the soft wind that touches your skin
As time passes by I’ll grow violent and crushes the right places under it to the core
Burning every bridge ever built to dust
I’ve grown tired of this same cycle.
I want to be connected in a way that even when apart we’re still close
The kind that is safe and grounded.
I want a ride that doesnt end when the track does.
I want to travel while never having to leave it all behind
I want to build a home that I can come back to and call you mine
August 27, 2016 in Uncategorized
Di sini apa apa pun
Babi jugalah yang dipersalahkan
Kau buat taik
Nama babi yang naik
Walhal aku cumalah binatang sama seperti binatang lain
Bezanya aku haram
Haram tapi bukan hina
Gemuk macam babi
Buruk macam babi
Eh macam kau juga kaum aku ada cantik ada buruk
ada kurus ada gemuk
Adilkah kau samakan aku dengan kau sedangkan kau jalan berkaki dua aku berkaki empat
Sekurang kurangnya aku duduk hutan, atau dibela tak macam kau suka merempat
Aku makan dedaklah bila masa aku makan duit haram
Mungkin aku buruk dah nama pun binatang takkanlah aku nak melaram
Aku tak pernah guna emergency lane kecuali lah kalau dah takde jalan lain
Aku takkan buat celaka tengah jalan aku tau tempat aku dalam hutan.
Aku tak merompak merogol aku cuma main tidur makan.
Jangan samakan aku dengan kau orang yang perangai mcm setan.
Jangan libatkan aku yang tiada kaitan.
Babi cumalah babi
Stop jadikan kami bahan hinaan