maybe the last

Hello hi i didnt know or expect i could write again. But this is the only way to express what i feel. Today, 8/6/2017 at 5.42am baru lepas sahur and i feel so sad. It is because the day i realised the day i knew that he dont deserves me at all. He dont deserves all of this. He just, he deserves better. Better than me, better than this woman who only know how to cheat, how to lie. I didnt expect this gonna happen. I thought he was made for me. I thought this was real. I thought it was permanent. I was wrong. I was totally wrong. I cant believe i said this but yea. I never thought it could be the end of us. Im ready. Im ready to feel the pain of it. Im not giving up. Im just, i just realised. You really need somebody that are just wanting you back as much as you want her. I do want you, i do need you, i do love you somuch. But things are so complicated. You wont listen anything i said. You just wont. I didnt lie. I just, i hate argue. Taknak gaduh. Yoi know, its not about im cheating or something else. I dont love any guy except him but he wont listen that. I wrote this but he still cant read. i dont know. I just im sad. I literally crying while im writing. He already hate me, he really dont want to see me. He already moved on from seeing me. That just made me sadder. I know he hates me. everything i did was literally wrong. nothing was right. he wont listen shit from me. I cant write anymore, i lost my word. Perasaan ni dah bercampur baur. Thats it from me :’)

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2 thoughts on “maybe the last

  1. i think its cool to have such experience, to be fucked up with unwanted feelings, i dont how old are you but i can tell you this much

    ur life are gonna be worse than this, wayy
    too worse like it could kill you at some point. but thats the point of living, other than worships Him, we are meant to be on constant struggles and pain. that pain part i think you already know well bout.

    but fucked up person is the coolest dont ya think? we are alive but we’re dead inside and we still walking around doing our duty as usual. only a few persons can do that. you are one of them. that makes you the coolest person ever living. so cheer up. its a big world.

    p/s: i’m a cool guy too.

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