Little Did I Know

It was the day I know would be hard for me to forget. It was raining cats and dogs outside. I was in a 20 storey building. I stood outside at the balcony, looking at the traffic from level 14th, cars could hardly move. I took a glace at my watch. 5.30pm. “It’s time to go home! Let’s not wait for the rain to stop”, for the first time in months I decided to ignore the rain and hit the road, be part of the building traffic. But I started feeling hungry. Home was still 2 hours drive from where I was according to Waze. I took a turn to the right, and arrived at a mall. I really wanted to get an omurice from the restaurant on the street next to the mall, but the thunder scared me. I parked my car inside the mall, and walked up to find another place to eat.

It was my first time here. I never thought of coming here. What brought me here then? I should have just go to the mall opposite my office. But I didn’t. I took a look at the directory, there was a bookstore there at the third level. “Perhaps I should go there while waiting for the rain to stop after having dinner”, I talked to myself.

Little did I know the day was meant to be the day for me to be told of something I would never ready to know. I was on the escalator, heading down from level 2. From the opposite direction, I saw a familiar face that always made me smile whenever I see him. His hair was nicely tied as a manbun. He looked casual that day, with his black t-shirt, holding his brown jacket on his left hand. And his right hand… was another girl’s hand.

The moment passed so slow. I could hear my heartbeat thump, didn’t know what to do. I asked myself “Is that really him? Should I say hi?”. But then, it would be awkward. I thought he would need some space for a privacy too. I turned my face to the left, hoping he didn’t see me.

I could feel my heart ache. I thought I gave him enough hints to show my feelings towards him. And I thought he was treating me different from any other girls because he was feeling the same.

If only I could tell someone about this. If only he is not someone everybody knows. If only I never thought putting on efforts. If only I could go back in time, stopping myself from falling in love with his kind acts.

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