I hope things are going well over there. Things aren’t so well here though, you’ve probably already sensed it. For a supergirl like you, it was probably so obvious its as if you’re seeing me in front of your very eyes.
Things aren’t so well at home. I’m just a little lost, everyday a little more lost. I feel out of place in where I’m supposed to call home. I just lay in bed, when there are things supposed to be done. I sleep, way too much, yet it feels like I barely had any sleep at all. I hate smiling, at my own mother, my own siblings, and my own nephew. The wheels of my life is slowly falling off.
I don’t know what I’m expecting from myself.
I want to be taken away, but where else can I go.
I realize, at 2 in the morning, I’m already pushing away the best people in my life just for self isolation. Which is the last thing I need.
I’m sorry this letter sounds depressing.
I’m sorry its always this.
I’m sorry I become less enthusiastic when we text.
Its the best part of my day, when you text me. I expect it everyday. Because I want the ears you lend, the advice you give, and the support you offer.
but I’m always making myself feel bad about it when it should be embraced and appreciated.
This isn’t what I should be pulling you into.
So I hope you’ll stay, Jane.