Letters that I won’t sent

dear DA,

How’s life?? I hope you’re doing fine right now… I followed you on instagram recently, just to see how well you’ve been, and what’s you’ve been doing all of this time… and it makes me feel relieved that you’re doing just fine, you look much better than the last time I saw you, and I have to admit that I almost can’t recognize you because you look like a different person now, puberty really hit you hard…

But there’s one things never changed about you, and its your passion about soccer… you really loved soccer a lot dont you? I guess your skill have improved a lot this day, I saw a lot of compliments from your friends at your pictures, and it somehow makes me happy, you used to loved soccer so much and you always want to do your best in soccer… seeing how well you’ve been doing makes me happy, i really do.

How about her DA? You know, your better half… did she still showered you with all the loves that you deserved? I hope she still… I know how much you loved her, never did once you cheated on her, and i know well how loyal you are as a boyfriend… i hope she still love you the same, because if she let you go just like how i’ve done, she’ll probably regret it the rest of her life

Sometimes, I wonder if you still remember me… especially now that we followed each other in soc med… i know its been 6 years, 6 years since we broke up, and its been 3 years since i last saw you… and now we followed each other again.. i wonder how you feel when you saw my name, i wonder if u also feel the same way as i am… i might sound greedy and cruel ass girl right now, but is it wrong for me to wonder such things? After all , you are my first love

As for me, i have to admit that it does makes my heart stop for a while when i saw your name on my ig…. all the memories about us that i’ve buried deep down in my heart, crawled out again and creeps in my mind…. i remember everything about us so clearly, and it start to hurt me even more… knowing that im not yours anymore, hurt me even more DA…

I keep on stalking you everyday, I cried everytime I saw your picture… I cried because I regret everything that I’ve done… I regret letting you go, I regret being a bad memories in your life… i regret everything, and how i wish you knew my honest feelings towards you, but you wont DA, and you never will..

I wish i can heal too, I wish i can heal and let you go totally just like how you do… how i wish i dont have this “i hope we can start over again” feelings inside me.. i wish i can finally redha and sedar that you’re no longer mine… i wish time can heal me fast too

DA… i wish you nothing but the best in life… i wish we can pass by each other again & smiled happily when both of you already find happiness in life… as for now, i’ll try my best to let you go totally, to not have this linger feelings anymore… cause i know it will only hurts me….

 

take care,DA

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