One morning I woke up, I was sure.
I put my shoes on, took only my keys.
I walked. I always do. Helps me think.
It was raining, I don’t give a damn.
Then I saw a little cat. Skinny. Shivering. Cold.
I faltered. Should I bring it home?
I can’t bring it home.
I wont be home after this.
It meowed at me. Eyes begging.
Damn it, I went to it and put it in my jacket.
I brought him home.
Perhaps I can wait a little longer.
Another morning I woke up, I was sure.
I went out again in confidence.
Nothing’ll stop me this time I was sure.
The sky was bright. I hated it.
Cause I didn’t want to feel good.
Then I saw a little girl sobbing.
Whining to her mother for an ice-cream.
She smiled sweetly and said sure honey.
Like my mom used to do.
Damn it, I felt good and bought one too.
I brought myself home.
Maybe today I can wait a little longer.
That Monday morning I woke up, I was sure.
It was night. Cold. Perfect.
I won’t let anything stop me.
My steps fast. My hands sweaty.
I knew what I was gonna do.
Then I saw a girl. Reminding me of her.
That first love. That amazing person.
Our memories came flooding back.
“Be better.” Her words echoed.
Shooting my brain.
Damn it, now I felt guilty.
I have to come home.
I thought I should wait a little longer.
This morning I woke up I was so damn sure.
I was already there. Up on the roof.
I took a heavy step up the ledge.
This was it. Was I sorry?
I can’t be, or it’d be hard for me.
Then I felt a gentle breeze touching my skin.
So soft and warm like my mother’s hand.
And I cried. I cried cause she would cry.
She would die. She’d be broken.
Or what’s left of her.
Damn it, I couldn’t be that person.
I needed to come home.
I think I can wait just a little longer.