In perspective: Marriage

“I have a friend, she’s 36 years old, married, with a grandchild now!” She said happily, a huge grin on her face.

I was flabbergasted. “What?! 36? She must’ve married very young! I can’t imagine marrying that young.”
“Oh she did, at 17 if I’m not mistaken. So did her daughter, at 16. They’re like friends to be honest, rather than mother and daughter. I would wholeheartedly support my children, if they wanted to marry young.”
“Because rather than have them do anything stupid, throwing away their religious beliefs, I’d rather have them be safe and do things the right way. If I had a son, and he shows interest in a girl, if he’s 17 or 18 or 19 at the time, I would say: if you want to marry, go ahead. I will support you. Because I’d rather have him do things right by our faith, than go gallivanting off doing sins.”
“Isn’t that too young? Are they even financially secure to get married? Emotionally stable? What about infidelity, what about divorce?”
“No, it is not too young. I’ve known of marriages younger than that, that has lasted a lifetime, quite contently too. As for finances, my husband and I can provide a roof over their heads, and he can work, and find nafkah should he want a family. And Subhanallah if they were to get divorced, if that is the way He determined it to be, then so be it. At least my child has done nothing wrong by Him, and did things by the book.”
“What about career? Finances? Education? What if your daughter had a child that early, wouldn’t you want her to get a good education?”
“Of course she can get an education and a career! Are you telling me that a middle aged woman, can’t go to university and find a job? Who’s to say that she can’t continue studying after she has had children, after she has raised them well? At least she would not be chasing time to get married and settle down – she has done all that, her duties as wife and mother, and now, she can pursue and make her bit for the world. I believe that if the marriage is good enough, both spouses will support each other in their endeavours, and let each other grow, for the better.”
“It seems to speak quite lightly of marriage, should teens get hitched… I still don’t quite see it. There’s such a big risk for failures in marriage.”
“No, if they know what’s right, they would value the marriage. I’ve known, in my life, the most naughtiest boy, who became the best father – and he married young. Fell in love of course, nothing haram. You’ll be surprised at how such a grand union can change a person. There’s a bigger risk for failure to Him, which, to me, is more important than chasing a career for the world. I suppose nowadays people focus on the earthly pleasures more – wealth and status, that they sacrifice values and integrity, and in a way, their dignities.”
“But akak, I would feel scared to let my children take such a big responsibility, at such a young age.”
“No, darling, if they were brought up well, you wouldn’t be.”
"I am already disturbed. Please come in."
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