Hello. you know why I’m here today.
Today I’m feeling like I really need to take a pause of everything that has been occupying my head and I need to slow down how I let everything access to me. Like my feelings. They speed up enter the empty space in my heart and they go round like a roller-coaster. I keep trying to show I’m fine. but most times I really am. I keep trying to take everything easy when it actually becomes hard for me. I keep feeling the same way and just everytime I thought I get away with it in a new situation it always comes back to me. I keep hurting myself as much it always hurts me.
I have no slight idea of why I have this love for this guy which never concerns about me the way I do. He had say how he wanted to know about me but I don’t know if he meant it. Maybe he actually did. But it never stays the same. I always love him. Everyday. Every minute. And he doesn’t even know it. He thinks I have finally moved on and casually speak to him like normal friends, you know. But I have never changed. He always have limitless access to me. Like whenever, wherever. But I- I always end up being stupid for trying to speak to him. this obviously sounds like idiot. But hey, I know my value, but hey, please realize me. He always have a soft spot in my heart and never gets out of it. Every single time.