i love you, bleep

a positive test, am i in joy or sadness
for everything impossible is possible
a red body, im drenched in pain
a smile throughout the rain,
the tides washed away my dreams,
how can something so pure be taken away,
its just a fetus, a tissue, they say
but it was my child, my baby
i know better, i always do
a living part
a part of me
why cant i have it
why did i lose it
i was already in love
but i dont have plans
try again, they said
like it was that easy
for every piece of my joy turn to sadness
a hopelessness
will my body still give me the chance
will god forgive me

writing to convert emotional thoughts to words in hope to find some solace in the tangle of my thoughts ;
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