Hello. It’s been a while. So the pandemic has been long enough as for me, as for everyone else who has been staying home either on their own or with their family. But majority have isolated ourselves and have our own ways of coping mentally, physically and emotionally.
This year has been different to the years before, obviously. and maybe the rough one for every soul because we never expected this to occur and many of us are affected. However, we must count our blessings rather than the misfortunes that hit us. I believe that it’s not only me who have dealt with uncertainty within but everyone else too. it’s the uncertainties within ourselves. the roller-coaster emotions and thoughts when we’re alone. the what-if’s. the waves of feeling calm and happy and then comes the unbalance kind of vibe. where in this moment, we all need moral support from our close or loved ones. but not everyone can get the access to seek any support from people they trust. but to be honest everyone has their own lives and problems to take care of. understandable. so as me, my routine, my vibes change every week. nothing that i can do consistently. it’s been a mixture of chaos and solace. at times we get to overthink things, worry a lot, anxious, lonely and even depressed, to some people. and i acknowledge that all of these are fine. good enough to be human. this is where we learn about our surrounding, about people and most significant is about ourselves. this is where we grow within and bless within.
I learn a lot from this year, where majority of things are cancelled, or delayed. Best thing is I learned how to take care of myself. I learned how to rely on myself and take all the power back. How to restore my peace of mind and take control of everything. How I should react and balance the vibes I get.
So firstly I changed my attitude which I changed my sleeping schedule. I go to sleep early or before 12 a.am when there’s no necessary things to do by that time, just when possible.
Sometimes after wake up for morning prayer I do the chores in the kitchen and the laundry and then straight up have my breakfast and shower so I don’t fall asleep in the morning. (but unfortunately I still get back to sleep when i can’t help it!)
Number 2. I take my sweet time to shower or bath. sometimes I prefer the long, cool shower and sometimes I prepare a hot-to-warm bath which both give me solace and fresh vibe. (at times when I cry alone and sad, I cry silently in the shower and come out feeling better, or continue crying in my room until I feel relieved. just like what i need.)
Number 3, I make something sweet to munch and sit alone with my feelings. it helps me to accept myself in the down time and restore my positivity. food is always the answer.
Number 4, I would go for a drive with a company and enjoy my playlists in the car just to find a new vibe out somewhere.
Fifth, which I always, always do. I prolong my prayer, if i need to i cry on the mat and talk to Him. I feel like God is looking at me with his undying love and when I leave everything to Him, the burden doesn’t weigh more than i can carry.
I also recite Quran in my free time. No matter how i’m feeling, it’s like where I find my peace and when I know I gain pahala from that, I feel better about myself. it keeps me humble.
I make some drinks for my parents. I know when they drink them and feel satisfied they’re happy which i become happy too.
I changed my routine where I make a schedule of reading books. I read a few pages and do some vocabularies where I gain something and can make use to it.
I add up new routine that I start working out with my own goal- to gain weight.I start off with small commitments and then basic workouts. I learned something from a blog and slowly following the training course. i’m still a beginner so I don’t commit 100% to my schedule but I always try my best. I don’t be hard on myself. I just take some time. I wanna go to the gym but if only my mom allows when i have a company. she cares about me. plus i’m also shy.
when i feel uncertain i would open my book where i collect wise words and quotes and read them as to regain positive energy and feed my mind with new mindsets.
when nothing feels so down to earth, try to find whichever NGO bank account numbers and keep in your book to donate with intentions that will make you happy, calm and grateful. and something greater will come to you soon. For the sake of God.
I play the Quran recitation by someone that reads them and listen to it when i’m going to sleep so I go to sleep with a clean heart. I watch something like Naura Shares or Islamic speech on the tv because i’m human with so much to learn and when i gain something, i feel good about myself.
the last one is I call my friend. This one is the last choice I can decide because I kinda feel i’m a burden if i seek their company. but it’s always good to call your friend and talk about anything you need to say, regardless what you feel that time because the bond gets even better.
too long already. I think that’s all i can share here. until next time. x