Hi Ma

I finally have the courage to post.

31-07-2019

I went to work like always, I had a weird feeling. I told my friend that I’m coming home late that day. I came to work and get most of my tasks done.
At 12.48pm, my phone rang and it was my brother :

”Can you leave the office? Sekarang.”

”Why?”

”Mama, dia kritikal now.”

”Okay I leave now”

I packed everything and started walking to the LRT,

At 12.58pm, my heart emptied by a gush of wind. I looked at my phone and saw my aunt posted “Inannillah-“ at the family group chat.

”Abang, mama dah takde ke?”

”yes”

I cried the whole way to the hospital, in the train, in the cab. When I reached there, I was in a denial. I didn’t want to look what was there under the covers. I screamed in the room, I cried and…. I went out of the room and just sat by the hallway.

I couldn’t cry anymore, I just stared into the empty space, I didn’t think, I was just confused with the condition I was in.

I get to bathe her for the last time, I get to see her for the last time.

Ma, thank you.

I'm writing down my own emotions hope for people out there feels the same way & does not feel lonely.
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