Sometimes his head screamed in agony
with no reason or understanding
He begged to be let go and be free
of his own demons and mourning.
I used to laugh at him sometimes
for being the ridiculous wreck that he was
because I couldn’t understand at the time
that a shadow had crept into his eyes.
It had a deep and menacing voice
telling him to cry, worry, and be crazy
so he didn’t exactly had much of a choice
but there was more than what I could only see.
His world was small but his darkness brimming
taking a hold of his decisions and becoming
burning his lungs and keeping him awake at night
he couldn’t escape the grip try hard as he might.
I used to think he was faking it
when he said he wanted to quit
I thought he only wanted some damn attention
But his hellion was beyond my comprehension.
I refused to believe that his monsters were real
‘cause the battle he had endured felt so surreal
I had put my head in a box made of steel so stark
unwilling to listen, so his sanity remained in the dark.
His head was a freaking carnival
peculiar, odd and downright remarkable
and how hard I try, in it I can never swim
because honestly I just can’t understand him.
He was a hurricane waiting to annihilate
everyone and often times himself, that’s his fate.
But sometimes he’s the cool gentle breeze
when he doesn’t think of himself as a disease.
He didn’t want questions like ‘are you okay?’
He just wanted me to hold him and stay.
But I didn’t know at the time so I left him and hide
and now his death will forever stay by my side.
#Depression is real. And sometimes it’s right next to you.