He saw darkness, I saw nothing

Sometimes his head screamed in agony
with no reason or understanding
He begged to be let go and be free
of his own demons and mourning.

I used to laugh at him sometimes
for being the ridiculous wreck that he was
because I couldn’t understand at the time
that a shadow had crept into his eyes.

It had a deep and menacing voice
telling him to cry, worry, and be crazy
so he didn’t exactly had much of a choice
but there was more than what I could only see.

His world was small but his darkness brimming
taking a hold of his decisions and becoming
burning his lungs and keeping him awake at night
he couldn’t escape the grip try hard as he might.

I used to think he was faking it
when he said he wanted to quit
I thought he only wanted some damn attention
But his hellion was beyond my comprehension.

I refused to believe that his monsters were real
‘cause the battle he had endured felt so surreal
I had put my head in a box made of steel so stark
unwilling to listen, so his sanity remained in the dark.

His head was a freaking carnival
peculiar, odd and downright remarkable
and how hard I try, in it I can never swim
because honestly I just can’t understand him.

He was a hurricane waiting to annihilate
everyone and often times himself, that’s his fate.
But sometimes he’s the cool gentle breeze
when he doesn’t think of himself as a disease.

He didn’t want questions like ‘are you okay?’
He just wanted me to hold him and stay.
But I didn’t know at the time so I left him and hide
and now his death will forever stay by my side.

#Depression is real. And sometimes it’s right next to you.

I think. I feel. I write. Welcome to my reality.
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2 thoughts on “He saw darkness, I saw nothing

  1. wow honestly this. This depicts the stigma that comes with mental illnesses. It’s hard for people outside to see looking in, and to understand. It breaks my heart just listening to patients saying that their family/friends never understood and that ended up pushing them over the edge. I hope that in the future, people will take time to listen to their loved ones and doesn’t dismiss their concerns when it comes to things like these.

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