GUESS

Guess what?
something did happen.
Remember how i thought of how am i going to survive a long term relationship with the guy who goes to the same university with me? and yeah, if something happen, then what?
and something did happen.
no, we’re not breaking up….yet. (i hope we’re not) but the phrase of “please, takyah ws aku. dont disturb me, give me some space. aku penat laa syel” is practically very oddly, terrifying.
i’ve never thought that i would be a girlfriend who men-serabut-kan kepala otak her partner, cuz yknow i thought i’m just chillin’, coolio, low-key kinda girl who tak main ah #relationshipgoals bagai ni. but to my surprise, i did mess up his head, without me knowing.
i’ve never concede to the fact that “every girl is the same” because i have always begged to differ, but realising what i did, i had to say, that every girl IS the same. you tend to cling to other people, you get mad (even though its actually your fault), sometimes you’re irrelevant, and you dont make any sense at all. and then the next thing you know, you’re having your period. HAH! i knew i wasnt this clingy bitch ahahahahahhaha
but ehem, my point is;
girls tend to say things that’s opposite to what they want. as per example;
dude: nak belikan ke?
minah: eh takpelah jangan lah susah susah
(dalam hati minah): ooooo nak laa wehhh plis laa get the hint
LMAO. how can the dude understand tho, seriously. but being biologically and emotionally different than boys, i guess girls are made to be complicated. but its never right to say ”Girls will always win” or “Girls are always right”. if in any situation, if the girl is wrong, she needs to apologise. its not about gender equality, but its about courtesy, regardless of our gender.

and so to my dear one (who i pray, never get to read this page, but if you did then well helloooooooo)
i’m sorry for the things that i put you through. i’m sorry that you felt unappreciated padahal you did lots of things already. i’m sorry for being an asshole for some sort, it is always keterbalikkan gender when it comes to us. biasanya perempuan yg rasa beriyer in a relationship, but when it comes to us, it has always been you. i like you, truly i do, and even if i look like i dont, i really do. truly, wholeheartedly. i dont really need ice cream when i feel sad, or anything, if you’re there to hear what i tell then its already enough. and i also dont need Love To Dress’s dresses, eventhough i really want to, but i can pay for the dress myself if i want to buy it. you dont have to do anything about it. save your money for better purposes, not on me. because we’re not married yet, so i’m not your priority. you, yourself is your very first priority.
you, dear you,
please be selfish once in a while. i was mad at you because you’re too nice, it wasnt supposed to be that way. if you feel mad towards others, then be mad (if its relevant). everyone has the choice to express what they feel, so why defy yours? if you’re mad at me, then tell. dont go around saying, “tkpe aku dah biasa dah kena mcm ni, haha” if you’re sad, then tell. dont go around saying ” takde pape lah haha aku happy je”
stay true to yr feelings because it was supposed to be that way, you’re not a robot. so tell. express them.
i’m sorry for being a burden, take all the time you need for you to be alone. i’ll be on the other side, praying for your ease in all your happenings, just like how you prayed for me earlier.

untuk awak, F.

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