She’s there. Still standing there. At the same spot where he decided to abandoned her. The only difference is time. All the bitter memories happened 6 years ago, and now she’s standing at the same place, accompanied by feelings that never fade.
She look around and see very few people hanging out at the park. Maybe because the weather is in negative and many decided to stay in rather than freeze themselves out here. Being at a place where all the memories were as strong as the wind that’s blowing, she couldn’t help but remember what had happened.
6 years ago
After receiving a text from her man, Ana quickly jumped off the bed and make her way to the mirror. Checking her reflection which looked somewhat pale and uninteresting, she quickly reach for her powder and lipstick inside her drawer. You must always look interesting in front of your guy, or else he’ll run. That’s pretty much her motto since she first dated Adam, her college senior. Adam is 4 years older than herself, so she needs to make sure to live up to his standard.
After what it seemed to be a whole eternity, Ana quickly leave the house and make her way to the park. By the time she arrives, she sees no one on the nearby bench.The time now is 4 in the evening.
The weather is not helping either since it’s the first week of winter.
“Great, I’m early.” Ana muttered to herself while her eyes wander to the stores available at the roadside. As her eyes wander, not far from where she is sitting, she sees Adam’s figure, wearing his all time favorite worn out black jeans, and dark brown leather coat accompanied by his black Crocodile boots.
Her face automatically crack into a smile as Adam walks to her. It has been a week since they last see each other because they were both busy with coursework and assignments. Both of them are understanding, really.
“Hi. Come, have a seat.” Ana scoot to the other side of the bench, giving space for Adam to sit down.
“It’s okay, I won’t be long.” Adam replied with a stern voice. “Ana, let’s stop doing what we’re doing.”
As soon as she heard those word, the world around her seems to be at pause. It’s like the only thing that’s moving is Adam,and herself, and her heart.
Her poor heart.
“What are you talking about?”.She remained calm. As calm as she could. Though only god knows how she actually feels inside.
“This relation suffocates me so much. And I want it to stop, please.” Adam’s voice now sounds like a plea. A please to stop a relationship that’s been lasting for 3 years now.
“Why is it suffocating? Did I do something that suffocates you?”
Adam ruffle his hair and blew a raspberry. “Ana, everything that you did suffocates me. I tried so hard to just bear with it for the first few years, but I can’t contain it anymore now. Since day one, you’re so clingy, you keep on calling me and whenever I don’t answer, you leave me so many voicemail asking me questions like ‘Where are you?’ ‘Are you okay?’ ‘Are you sick? Do I need to call someone to check on you?’.. I am not an infant and I can certainly take care of myself. You didn’t give me any space for me to even breath and so far as I can see…This relationship is going nowhere!”
“It’s making a progression! This relationship is going everywhere it needs to be.” Ana’s eyes became blurry in no time because of the tears.
“It’s progressing for you! But not for me. I am already 23, and you’re only 19. What do you know?! Need I say more? So that you will wake up and smell the fucking coffee? That I don’t love you anymore?” Adam’s voice sounds so stern she turns scared and vulnerable. She quickly wipe the falling tears using her sleeves.
The situation turned awkward. Nobody said a word. Silence. Hurt. Pain.
“I’m sorry..” Ana’s voice cracked the atmosphere. ” I didn’t know that I was being clingy. I was just trying to make you feel loved and worth it. I didn’t know that it would suffocate you. You’re the first man I have ever been with, so I didn’t know how a girl should act when she’s in a relationship.
My feelings were sincere, and I’m sorry it made you feel that way. You’re right, what do I know? I am only an immature girl trying to love a man.”
“So go ahead and leave. From day one, you’re always the best at leaving.” Those words helplessly came out from her lips.
Few seconds later, Adam stood up, ready to leave this park. Ready to leave this 3 years old relationship. Adam slowly walk away from Ana, and she couldn’t help but feel a strong pain inside her heart.
The pain of breaking up.
The pain that suffocates anyone who feels it.