boys like me , we don’t usually open up about insecurities. opening up makes us feel weak , incapable of leading and being the alpha male, let alone opening up about insecurities. we all have insecurities, its just me being a boy its hard for me to tell people about it and confront them at the same time. its hard, but here i am trying my best to show whoever is reading this, what i am personally insecure about.
it has always , always been about how i look.
i feel the need to look good. thats the truth. sometimes i spend time staring at the mirror roaming my fingers over my face, feeling my acne. i was growing up with it, and i was growing up with an environment that made me feel like acne wasnt a normal thing. it felt like acne was a sickness, like cancer or hiv. i felt like i was the odd one out, family and friends weren’t always making me feel better about it. the worst thing was to be compared and to be told that my sisters should be there to help me cure acne. i lived with all of these statements that brought me down till today, i still haven’t been able to live with it. people give a helping hand, recommend me facial washes or whatever they think is good but i didn’t feel like it was a helping hand instead i took it as an intention to mock. i CANT help it. i KNOW they want to help, but i’ve lived with the mockery for so long im just not strong enough to trust.
i could stare at my face for hours thinking of it. how do i love myself for who i am.