Hey. Been days since you cut me off from everything isn’t it? I don’t know what the reason though. I mean, i know we said good bye and everything but i never thought you’d cut off me like completely. Because you said you won’t. And here I am thinking what went wrong, that Friday night.
Maybe you misunderstood something. Maybe you misunderstood the text i sent to him. I never meant it to you. Only him. I never want you stay away from me or even leave me alone. Even if we didn’t contact each other. At least i can check up on you once in a while. Now that i can’t. I feel a bit lost. No. A lot lost. One thing is i miss you, well that’s obvious. The other thing is i feel like i completely lost you. Not that i have you in the first place but i think you know how it feels. So hopefully, you’d read this.
Maybe you think that it’s the best for me? You think that it’s the best for me to be cut off from you by any mean possible. You think you’re doing it for me. To make me better. For my good. If that’s the case then I understand. I make peace with it. But, i don’t think it’s the best for me. Cause you don’t have to do that you know. You don’t have block me everywhere cause you know me. You know i’m not gonna contact you if you don’t want to. So at least, to the very least, let me know that you’re still out there, living your life, and hopefully, thinking about me sometimes.
Still if that’s the case, I’ll make peace that you’re cutting me off from everything, for my well being, for my best. I make peace that, you’re doing that, because of me. Well knowing you, you care about me more than yourself. So that’s probably the reason you did that. Still, if you’re undergoing something difficult, or circumstances change and i’m in your mind, or even you just need me, please reach me. Please find me. I know you might feel guilty because of cutting me off but i want you to know that, i’d welcome you in my open arms. I’ll be there for you. Told you i would didn’t I? I won’t be mad. Trust me, I understand.
I’m sorry for what i did to you. That i caused you a lot of pain. I’m sorry. I miss you so much. How i wish i’m still in September, waiting for time to see you. If i could go through that again, i would. I’d do it again, even knowing how the end would be. Because, like i said before, you’re worth the pain. With that being said, i hope you don’t beat yourself up. It’s not your fault. It’s never your fault. Don’t blame yourself. Forgive yourself. Sometimes we don’t choose whom we fall in love with. “They can’t steal the love we’re born to find” (Dean Lewis – Be alright)
I hope you don’t think bad of me (eventhough i deserve it) and i hope you see me as blessing in disguise. At least. Because i know part of you regret meeting me. But if you didn’t meet me, then you wouldn’t learn more about your relationship and your partner. You wouldn’t know what kind of person he would be when something like this happens. I know perhaps, i was just a test to your relationship, like other people said. And maybe i was. But, remember, you said it yourself, they don’t understand how you feel, right?
I said it only once before. But i wanna say it again. Perhaps for the last time. Precious, choose me. Love me. I’ll be good for you. I’ll be your guardian angel, and the protector of your dream. I’ll be there for you like nobody ever does. I’ll love you like you never be loved. I’ll understand you like nobody ever does. And this, you know i do. I know it’s not gonna change anything and I’m sorry, this might be the last time i said this.
I don’t even know if we’re gonna meet again or not. But if we’re gonna, could you promise me that it wouldn’t be all awkward and weird? Promise me it’ll be like normal. Even for a while. Promise me we’d talk like we normally did.
Last but not least, my heart is still beating for you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for checking up on me by looking at my tweet. For caring about me, for showering me with love, for being crazy about me. I love them. I do. And thank you for loving me too (even you never say it out loud, i know you did, hopefully, still do). If time ever be right for us, please don’t wait to reach me. Do it right away. But if it never will be, i’m still grateful that i meet you. And i hope, my next one, will like me like you do. And one more thing, i want you to know that, despite everything, i still and will always keep your name in my prayer. InsyaAllah.
So long precious. Good luck with everything (by everything i mean everything included that bola baling thingy you told me recently). I root and pray for your healthiness, your well being, your success, and the biggest thing, your happiness. I hope we’ll meet again soon. Stay lit, stay pretty, stay cute, stay healthy, stay precious, and always be happy, you… I’ll never forget you.
Your beloved neighbor
Ps: I just ordered the same perfume cause you’d recognize my smell by that. And my old one almost finish. I was thinking about giving you my same old one (there’s still about 1/4 in the bottle) but i never thought this would happen. So maybe someday I guess. Someday soon. Hopefully.