10 things i know that hurt

Feeling sad for no apparent reason hurts 10 times more than having actual reasons to cry about because at least, you can cry your hearts out until you’re immune to the sadness. Feeling drained during an outing with friends suck when you’re supposed to or expected to be happy after months of not seeing each […]

Love Yourself

Reading back the old posts, it’s been a year. Last year I was struggling finding permanent job. This year, 2020, alhamdulillah. I was confirmed as a permanent staff, I’m engaged and I have bought a house. Yet all these successful things I have done. But yet I still failed to do this one thing. I […]


Ketika takbir berkumandang di pagi yang mulia Rasa hiba tiba di dada Apabila ku dilayar ke arungan rindu Menitip bayangan samar wajahmu Titisan air mata Pipi kemerahan menahan sebak yang tiba Mengubah raut wajah kirana ibu Hatinya menjerit dihanyut rindu Sesungguhnya cinta Tuhan pada umat-Nya itu mulia Qada’ dan qadar yang dijanjikan Maha Berkuasa Kadangkala […]

A Journey Of Happiness

When I asked “how are you?” over two cups of hot chocolate in our favorite cafe, You give me collections of sugar coated of “I am okay.” Don’t get me wrong, I would love to hear that you are doing okay but I want the truth. Dear, your eyes are bad at lying, you should […]


How the hell do you tell someone that you have no desire to live? How to say that without having them feel shit in return? Listen here, whoever you are. Sympathy. i do not need pity. is there anyone who would understand? here, i am telling you. i do not want to live. i have […]

untuk LOL

Whenever i think that you guys will be away from me, i’m upset and teared up a lil bit. Being away from you means i’m losing of one of my comfort, safest place. In this unfriendly world, where everyone put a mountain height expectation on me, you guys basically have none. You expect nothing from […]

My happy vision

First dream We were always surrounded by people And we will run to each other whenever we are alone And we crave more time together We held hands, we joke around The smile we had was genuine It was a pure happiness I wish we were never apart   Second dream I sneak into your […]

New Space

I am always longing for a fresh new start because honestly everything I do is never enough and how I wish I was good enough but I never will be. And at this point I’m not sure whether adulting is hard or being me is hard. I always found myself chasing for a new feeling […]

I am sorry

I am sorry I am sorry for not being like her Treats the other man while I’m having you Loves other man while I am loving you Maybe I’m just not enough for you Maybe you like that kind of woman in your life Maybe I’m sorry I’m sorry because I’m still here for you […]


  He never asked to meet me half way. Even rarely asked me to go to where he is. Always the one who travels. Always the one who sacrificing. Always the one who did most of the things.   That wishful glance, That hopeful stares, Im weak, Whenever I needed to open up the pandora […]

Herself, he said.

Monday you tell her how dark her skin is, you mock her how she will look better with lighter skin. You convince her that if she has lighter skin, she will be pretty. She wants to be pretty in your eyes, so she hates her skin more and find anything that can make her skin […]

Finally aku faham

Tahun yang paling pantas masa berlaku. Well,what a year right?Phew..Dalam masa satu tahun,menghadapi kehilangan trauma adalah suatu penyiksaan.Terasa roh dikeluarkan dari jasad. Terkaku dan layu.. Aku sudah bangkit. Aku sudah baiki kelemahanku. Aku sudah tahu ekspresi. I’m not afraid to love.Nothing can break me anymore; thanks to the heartbreak. I don’t deserve to be sad. […]


we just stopped talking. though your name is still at the back of my mind, our conversation is still somewhere in the archived chats. it is still you that my heart has been longing for, and i don’t think it will change anytime soon. Pin 1

Anecdote #01

Break ups can be ironic. Like how the longest one I took to move on, landed me on therapy, and was also the one who gifted me “Psychology 101” as parting gift. Yet it was also the one that set precedence of how relationships afterwards should take place. And the break ups afterwards no longer […]

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