The way he treats me, he teaches me to be independent. He teaches me to be away from him. I learn to live without him. I learn to survive. I learn to be with my own feet. I’m getting stronger. One day, when this heart feel nothing, I know I can just fly away. Just […]


Your mornings begin with a smile nowadays. The first thing that you look for as soon as you popped your eyes opens from your slumber is the man beside you. He is the one that’s carrying the mantle of warming up the bed and your slim body the way you like it. You mumble something […]

On Happiness

The best thing about happiness is that you can make others happy without being happy. You can still make a joke even when you’re sad and dead inside. Even when life seems to falling down and things are never seem to get better. Maybe that’s why God made me funny (self-proclaim lol), to spread it […]

a supposed new chapter

He still is the man of my dream regardless. I mean he’s not crazy good looking but he’s charming, the type that would hold your hand and gently massage your shoulder without being asked. Meeting him was refreshing. I mean, he is foreign. With a certain accent, such a turn on and plus, he is […]


Sendiri aku memandang langit Berbicara dengan Tuhan mengenai hati Kerana pandanganku mulai kabur Hatiku mulai gelap Hanya Dia yang mengerti Hanya Dia yang tahu segala hal aku dan juga dunia Aku tanya pada Tuhan, salahkah jika aku mulai pasrah Aku menerima semuanya walau keadaan aku tidak rela Ada masa aku kuat jika teringat Ada masa […]

Heart on my sleeves

Just because a guy is older, it doesn’t mean he’s ready for anything serious.   Why do I say this? Well   He was 28 and everything I dreamed of. Financially he was not stable. He spent his early years playing around. Postponing his studies to pursue something that was just a hobby. A hobby […]

My make believe safe space

I needed to get there. Let’s try it again one more time. Closed my eyes. Pitch black. —————————————————————— Where was I? Let’s see. A bench. Okay I know this place. I sat on the bench and almost instantly, there she was. White shirt tucked in high waisted jeans, glasses, wet hair, out of nowhere, walking […]

Benci lebih bijak berbicara

Apabila maaf diungkapkan Maaf juga turut keliru seperti aku Apabila cinta diucapkan Cinta tidak tahu apa yang berlaku Dan apabila rindu asyik menjelma Rindu kurang mengerti tentang kewujudannya Suka yang telah datang kian lamanya Kini persoalkan kembali kehadirannya Lalu aku toleh ke arah benci Benci tak henti henti berkata Seribu satu alasan diberi Sehingga aku […]


Congratulations. Today’s your graduation day. I remember wanting to be a part of that day. Your day. Just as you were a part of my day. Thank you for being there during that time. I wish I could congratulate you. But it’s okay.   I don’t miss you. I miss the times we were together. […]


If that thing happen again I will go I will not look back You will miss my laugh You will miss my stupid joke You will miss my touch You will miss how I really care about you You will miss how I treat you You will miss how I protect you You will miss […]

Of another panic attack – 8Oct19

  To be honest, I don’t know anymore. What to call it. Anxiety? Panic? Was I thinking too much? Am I getting crazy? I cant feel my leg yesterday. After tryna gasping for air so hard, I didn’t feel my leg. I panic and make it even worst. I don’t feel my hands too. And […]

“Do you believe in Miracle?

When you are sad and tired from all the chaos, instead of saying “stay strong” I will ask “do you believe in miracle?” I do believe in miracle. When all hope is gone, there is always miracle that will come to you. Miracle can be a person that come to your life. They will make […]

Love Yourself

In this weary world, while we all are struggling to love ourselves. I promise that I will love you always. Even during the days that you cannot find reasons to love yourself. Even during the days that all you do is to disappear because you just don’t have any strength to carry on. I promise […]

As long we are together

Even the whole world against us, we should not surrender to them. Being together with you, Even the storm and hurricane is not as scary as when I am alone. They do not understand us, the things we go through to stay together. I would not let go of your hand because my mom said […]

「Letter」Bestest of Friends

You know, I’m quite disheartened actually that day. When you invited me to your open house. Okay, it was a pleasure and delightful that you invited me to your house of course but it’s like you’re not so into me. When I first reach your house you were with your friends that I knew nothing […]

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