seri pagi patah hati

Ketika tuan saja-saja menyamakan saya dengan kuntuman seri pagi, saya fikir di mata tuan, saya terlihat menawan persis sekuntum kembang ungu yang lembut dan teguh. Pertama kalinya saya jatuh cinta dalam pelukan syair tuan yang hangat dan mengasyikkan. Tuan hanya tersenyum dalam dan manis sambil bercerita akan bahawa saya itu bahaya seperti kembang pagi yang […]

him

i once love him and never stop loving him. idk what i feel right now. i had a boyfriend, and it’s the only thing that i can stop for loving him. but everytime i broke up w my bf, i fall in love w “him”, again. idk what other things that can make me stop […]

How have you been?

How have you been? Sometimes I wonder about you. I wonder what you have been up to, your whereabouts and etc.. Sometimes I do wanna know about your love life. I wanna know who’s the lucky one. Sometimes I wanna know have I been in your mind lately?or I haven’t been there.. Those questions are […]

langit telah runtuh

Lelaki di awal 40-an berkopiah lusuh mengangkat tangan menyapa si orang tua apabila motosikalnya melintasi beranda rumah separuh kayu separuh batu bercat biru itu. Si orang tua membalasnya. Juga dengan senyuman. Walaupun separuh wajah lelaki berkopiah itu terlindung di balik kain yang dijadikan pelitup muka, orang-orang pasti tahu yang dia sedang tersenyum lebar dan mesra. […]

words mean nothing. words are nothing.

mother taught me how to love i’m not sure what or how to feel about that one do people actually mean the words they say? or are those just some candies to soothe the sad children? i’ve seen people fall head over heels for a particular person they would do anything including degrading their self-worth […]

Di mana letaknya tawakal

Salam sejahtera wahai kerabat. Berjalan di atas titi tawakal itu memang sangat sukar. Bagai meniti di atas sebuah titi, yang lebarnya ibarat sehelai rambut yang dibelah tujuh. Tangan menggapai hanya angin dicapai. Tiada tempat berpaut. Lalu bagaimanakah untuk langkah itu diteruskan? Sungguh. Kita perlukan tempat bersandar kala berehat. Bukan bersandar pada kenangan. Pembaringan kala beradu. […]

Blanked.

I’m cold. The only thing that stops me from wearing a blanket is regret. I do not deserve a blanket. Even worse, the warmth of it. I do not deserve every inch of its thread. The warmth that it gives out burns my skin as it despises me. I could feel the deep hatred of […]

As if you care

these scars, because of your doing. these empty shells are after what you have done. and you cannot expect me to be the one who comfort you, when you leave me crying my heart, alone. these scars are permanent. and i’m sorry, i cannot be more emphatic towards you. Pin 0

Do You Feel It Yet?

Do you feel my love yet as I lie to you about not being busy? Do you feel my love yet when no one is around except me? Do you feel my love yet as I listen to your voice and look into your eyes? Do you feel my love yet as I watch the […]

bayang-bayang

hidup sebagai bayang-bayang, yang tawanya sekadar mentertawa, disamar diri yang bukan dia, dia tidak pernah, tidak pernah dapat menjadi dirinya. kadang-kadang dia sebagian dari orang-orang, kadang-kadang dia adalah pokok, perkakas, perhiasan, bangunan atau perasaan yang bukan kepunyaanya. tubuhnya bukan miliknya hiduplah, dan lepaskan supaya kesalmu tidak mengikatnya. hiduplah, dan lepaskan supaya anak kecil dalam dirinya. […]

‘Okay?’

“Are you okay?” I’ve been wondering the same thing, too. can you tell that I actually didn’t get a proper sleep last night because of all the overthinking? or are you blinded by the struggled smile that’s painted on my face? please never ask why my voice shakes when I talk. i’m just socially anxious. […]

17-07-2020

surat buat abah, assalamualaikum abah, apa khabar disana? ayo harap abah baik-baik sahaja. ayo rindu abah… it has been four years you are away from this world. I dreamt of you recently, i witnessed you smile in my dream, i wish to see it again in real life. abah, ingat tak dulu kita selalu memancing […]

Letter to my Future Self

Hello Future Self, I’m your Past Self when you’re reading this letter. I made it for you. Its 20 June 2020 and its 1.37 am. I cant sleep. I’m excited on counting days getting married to one I love the most. Most night thinking I cant wait to spend time with him, I even made […]

14-06-2020

aku selalu rasa buntu tak kena waktu. kadang rasa lost padahal aku tak tahu apa sebenarnya yang buat aku rasa macam ni. banyak benda-benda yang seriously aku tak tahu macam mana nak cerita atau kongsikan dengan sesiapa. benda ni semua ibarat kata-kata yang aku rasa terperangkap didalam kepala. harini aku rasa apa yang aku buat […]

future meets past

Dear Melur of 2020,   Writing this to you is for you to know how the world has become a greater good. First of all, I would like to say how grateful I am for you to survive the pandemic. I know being a kid must have stressed you out for not being able to […]

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