The Same Old Love Letter

For my beloved protagonist, Three hundred and sixty-three, three hundred and sixty-four, three hundred and sixty-five… days. Every day, God let me feel the pain of this regret. Every drop of this blood, He let me feel the taste of my own action. Every tick on that clock, He wouldn’t let me rest. Not even […]

You

And I knew. I knew from the beginning that you were not serious. But I still love you anyway. I still fought for you. I betrayed myself. I betrayed everyone who warned me about you. I have faith in you. I loved you and I still do. Do know that when I love, I love […]

Much Too Much

I was much too much In the choice of words In the clangs of cutlery It was much too much In my irritable mind In my weak spirituality She was much too much In her constant nagging In her demand for perfection They were much too much In their reliance on me In their ignorance […]

Hands

When you held my hand, my world stops, I became numb, the only thing I can feel was your rough hands against mine, the sparkles that sets inside my heart. It feels like electricity flows across our intertwined palms, makes my spine shivers. I felt safe. I felt that I’m in good hands, the warmth […]

Out of sight, out of mind

  I am easily distracted. Not amuse at most of things. Easily get bored. Cant be followed most of times. My head is a disaster. People who enters get drowned. Of so much noise and chaos. I wonder who’ll manage to win the cold breeze, And thunder storm, The sea rage, And gets to the […]

Menangislah

Sering kali kita diyakinkan menangis itu sikap orang yang lemah. Benarkah? Jika benar maka pastinya menangis itu tidak digalakkan di dalam Islam. Tapi, pernah kah kita berjumpa ayat atau larangan dalam Islam yang melarang kita menangis? Tidak bukan? Islam sememangnya mengajar kita agar tidak menjadi lemah. Hatta, sebagai perempuan yang diakui fitrahnya lebih lembut dari […]

I am here now.

“We accept the love we think we deserve” I never understand what it truly mean back then, yet I romanticise this quote a lot. Only now I began to understand what it means. It’s sad and full of toxic. Why do we do this to ourselves? Nobody deserve to feel this way. To my younger […]

There’s Something In The Wind

she sat on her bed, staring out the windows of her room. the wind was blowing hard that day and the leaves were rustling wild. she listened to the sound of the wind, calling out to her, almost sounding like a ghost. wailing for her to come close. it felt as if she was pulled […]

Epiphany

Since I turned 24 recently (not too late to wish me a happy birthday), I have had multiple episodes of existential crisis. I kept asking myself if I am living my best life, if I am behaving towards my truest self in achieving my biggest potential. I started analysing my past, calculated my near and […]

“let the kid cry”

Humans are one with emotions Emotions exist for us to feel We can’t really separate those two You see, it will be a catastrophic Because Imagine feeling sad but aren’t able to cry Imagine feeling loved but aren’t able to love Imagine feeling everything all at once but aren’t able to actually…. feel… Imagine being […]

Rindu – Unknown

    The feeling of missing someone. Far away. Untouchable. Is deadly.   I longed for that warm hands to caress mine. And that eye gaze looking at me, Lovingly, Warming up my cold cold night, I miss you, Is what I wish to say.   Rindu. Rindu to see you smile can’t be kept […]

A Joke

So I guess I’m just a joke for you, that you can use whenever you want, that you can call lame and irrelevant, that you’ll always take for granted, it does make sense now, that I’m just a joke for you, and later, this joke will no longer suits you. Let it go, let me […]

fUNFAIR.

Promises after promises, I’m tired of promises. People say “Don’t make promises you can’t keep”, you make promises you’re not even sure where it’ll lead. Day by day, everything seems to be clearer and I pray that this heart will get better. Your words are always so dangerous, it sounded safe and sound to my […]

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