day 14 of breaking up

it hurts, whenever i faced problems, it reminds me of you, you were beside me when things get rough, now you are no longer here, beside me. eventho you said you are there if i need you. but things wouldnt be the same. it hurts knowing i still need you. your words that always keep […]


I have a lot to say, but indescribable by words, by writings. All these uneasy feelings, heartbreaks i felt all these years are really disturbing my emotions. It’s not vividly totally about love as what normal teenagers had these days. Sometimes, it’s about life that me (or even other people) had in life- the conditions, […]

Alpha and Beta

We all know alpha is the superior one and beta is the inferior one. In simple concept that is. I wanna tie in the alpha and beta concept in our relationships. So basically, in any kind of relationships, there’s always one who is an alpha, or a beta. Yes it is kinda like the top […]


Kau pembawa sinarku Jangan biar cahaya ini pudar Aku tak mahu kau hilang Aku tak ingin lagi menetap di lorong hina   Seribu kata maaf pun takkan pernah cukup untuk membaiki hati Aku tahu itu Action speaks louder than word kan sayang? Maka, I will continue to love you better and better each day. Janji. […]


Malam ini sunyi Tidak seperti selalu Aku menanti notifikasi darimu Notifikasi muncul Tetapi hal yang kita bincangkan adalah tentang kebodohanku   Salah aku kerana mengecewakanmu Salah aku kerana tidak berfikir panjang Aku bodoh, aku tahu Aku tak layak dicintai   Namun apa yang ku tahu Aku amat menyayangimu Aku takkan pernah mampu menjalani kehidupan ini […]

you took me for granted

You took me for granted. It’s been more than 3 months. I’m tired of having you in my mind, I’m tired of always having Dec 20th 2019 playing over and over again in my head. I hate myself for not being able to get over you, over what you did. I hate myself for not […]

grown accustomed.

my heart beats to the rhythm of your favorite song. my mouth utters the lines of your favorite book. my eyes, they glimmer to every sight your name. my hands, though further away always try to find yours.   you mold yourself to the curves of my edges. i inspire the air you expire. the […]

A call for a journey

Until then I really have no plan to fix things around me I guess. The only plan that I have in mind was to follow my guts (even I get confused at my guts constantly) and to just follow the flow. I have so much goal. So much wants that I want to achieve. I […]

You vs Me

“Love it when your name pops up,” you said.   Love it when just your existence, flutters my heart. but to say there are butterflies feels like an understatement. There are fireworks, exploding in every chamber of my heart, electric through the gushing of my blood. and thunder from the firing of my nerves.   What more, […]

Long term

I never believed in long term relationships. Sure, they exist, just like things such as endless money or life without hardships. I don’t think everyone should make it a goal to make sure a relationship should last a long time for it to be valuable or to be considered as a happy relationship. What happened […]

Terima Kasih Sayang

Hi Sayang!   Bagaimana khabarmu? Apa kamu sihat? Bagaimana pula dengan isi hatimu? Masih seperti selalu? Atau.. Sudah menghilang. Seperti hilangnya embun di awal pagi. Apa mungkin seperti hilangnya mentari setelah munculnya senja malam, Mungkin juga seperti hilangnya cahaya rembulan karena turunnya hujan. Apa pun ia, aku harap kamu terus bahagia.   Ini cerita aku […]

False Alarm

You were good to me, in fact, too good that I read you wrongly.   Your words were seeds that grew flowers in me. But flowers have thorns and left me too bleed.   Your honesty soothes me. Felt like I was trustworthy to dive into your sea. Too deep I go, that I can […]

Living with insanity

My brother is a paranoid schizophrenic. He constantly thinks that people are listening in to our(the family) conversations, that people are sending curses to us, he thinks he’s god, he puts salt all over the house thinking it will protect us somehow.. but on the bad days when his paranoia gets out of hand he […]

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