to my sweet sweet honey

that was a stupid-immature relationship. but i still remember how hard and how painful the ending was. and unfortunately, the reason for my trust issue now. i hate that i still need to think twice everytime someone is approaching, just because im being shadowed by my past honey, trust me. this is temporary. all i […]

A flop fighter

Physically strong, But a loser inside. Acting all tough and brave, But scared and dying inside. Emitting the brightest smile infront of everyone, But hiding a big scar and crying heavily inside. I’m a girl, Dreaming for a hope. A hope, That will never be fulfilled. Dreaming for my close ones, To understand and acknowledge […]

Z

Dear Z, This one is for you. Heal is what both of us strive to get right? Both of us were in that phase of broken hearted because the vibe around us had changed. It was hard for both us. Luckily, we both found each other and I get comfortable to be around you day […]

The Same Old Love Letter

For my beloved protagonist, Three hundred and sixty-three, three hundred and sixty-four, three hundred and sixty-five… days. Every day, God let me feel the pain of this regret. Every drop of this blood, He let me feel the taste of my own action. Every tick on that clock, He wouldn’t let me rest. Not even […]

You

And I knew. I knew from the beginning that you were not serious. But I still love you anyway. I still fought for you. I betrayed myself. I betrayed everyone who warned me about you. I have faith in you. I loved you and I still do. Do know that when I love, I love […]

Much Too Much

I was much too much In the choice of words In the clangs of cutlery It was much too much In my irritable mind In my weak spirituality She was much too much In her constant nagging In her demand for perfection They were much too much In their reliance on me In their ignorance […]

Hands

When you held my hand, my world stops, I became numb, the only thing I can feel was your rough hands against mine, the sparkles that sets inside my heart. It feels like electricity flows across our intertwined palms, makes my spine shivers. I felt safe. I felt that I’m in good hands, the warmth […]

Out of sight, out of mind

  I am easily distracted. Not amuse at most of things. Easily get bored. Cant be followed most of times. My head is a disaster. People who enters get drowned. Of so much noise and chaos. I wonder who’ll manage to win the cold breeze, And thunder storm, The sea rage, And gets to the […]

then what about me?

I know people tend to say about not making life about yourself. but then, it is my life so maybe I can make some things about me. because what about me? am I the only one who’s suppose to hurt? supposedly I should be taking care of someone else’s heart but no one cared for […]

Menangislah

Sering kali kita diyakinkan menangis itu sikap orang yang lemah. Benarkah? Jika benar maka pastinya menangis itu tidak digalakkan di dalam Islam. Tapi, pernah kah kita berjumpa ayat atau larangan dalam Islam yang melarang kita menangis? Tidak bukan? Islam sememangnya mengajar kita agar tidak menjadi lemah. Hatta, sebagai perempuan yang diakui fitrahnya lebih lembut dari […]

I am here now.

“We accept the love we think we deserve” I never understand what it truly mean back then, yet I romanticise this quote a lot. Only now I began to understand what it means. It’s sad and full of toxic. Why do we do this to ourselves? Nobody deserve to feel this way. To my younger […]

There’s Something In The Wind

she sat on her bed, staring out the windows of her room. the wind was blowing hard that day and the leaves were rustling wild. she listened to the sound of the wind, calling out to her, almost sounding like a ghost. wailing for her to come close. it felt as if she was pulled […]

Epiphany

Since I turned 24 recently (not too late to wish me a happy birthday), I have had multiple episodes of existential crisis. I kept asking myself if I am living my best life, if I am behaving towards my truest self in achieving my biggest potential. I started analysing my past, calculated my near and […]

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