un-being.

How the hell do you tell someone that you have no desire to live? How to say that without having them feel shit in return? Listen here, whoever you are. Sympathy. i do not need pity. is there anyone who would understand? here, i am telling you. i do not want to live. i have […]

untuk LOL

Whenever i think that you guys will be away from me, i’m upset and teared up a lil bit. Being away from you means i’m losing of one of my comfort, safest place. In this unfriendly world, where everyone put a mountain height expectation on me, you guys basically have none. You expect nothing from […]

My happy vision

First dream We were always surrounded by people And we will run to each other whenever we are alone And we crave more time together We held hands, we joke around The smile we had was genuine It was a pure happiness I wish we were never apart   Second dream I sneak into your […]

New Space

I am always longing for a fresh new start because honestly everything I do is never enough and how I wish I was good enough but I never will be. And at this point I’m not sure whether adulting is hard or being me is hard. I always found myself chasing for a new feeling […]

I am sorry

I am sorry I am sorry for not being like her Treats the other man while I’m having you Loves other man while I am loving you Maybe I’m just not enough for you Maybe you like that kind of woman in your life Maybe I’m sorry I’m sorry because I’m still here for you […]

Truth(?)Lies(¡)Within

  He never asked to meet me half way. Even rarely asked me to go to where he is. Always the one who travels. Always the one who sacrificing. Always the one who did most of the things.   That wishful glance, That hopeful stares, Im weak, Whenever I needed to open up the pandora […]

Herself, he said.

Monday you tell her how dark her skin is, you mock her how she will look better with lighter skin. You convince her that if she has lighter skin, she will be pretty. She wants to be pretty in your eyes, so she hates her skin more and find anything that can make her skin […]

Finally aku faham

Tahun yang paling pantas masa berlaku. Well,what a year right?Phew..Dalam masa satu tahun,menghadapi kehilangan trauma adalah suatu penyiksaan.Terasa roh dikeluarkan dari jasad. Terkaku dan layu.. Aku sudah bangkit. Aku sudah baiki kelemahanku. Aku sudah tahu ekspresi. I’m not afraid to love.Nothing can break me anymore; thanks to the heartbreak. I don’t deserve to be sad. […]

you.

we just stopped talking. though your name is still at the back of my mind, our conversation is still somewhere in the archived chats. it is still you that my heart has been longing for, and i don’t think it will change anytime soon. Pin 1

Anecdote #01

Break ups can be ironic. Like how the longest one I took to move on, landed me on therapy, and was also the one who gifted me “Psychology 101” as parting gift. Yet it was also the one that set precedence of how relationships afterwards should take place. And the break ups afterwards no longer […]

Happy Birthday

I am turning 21 today Hoping for another 20 years to be together When I turn 41 I will be hoping for 20 years more Hoping this love stays the same No matter how many years comes and passed Getting through every speed bumps and crooked roads As long as we are together We are […]

a wish

an eye contact, and i immediately looked away.  seconds passed, and this heart of mine was still throbbing wildly, as if i just finished a marathon. obviously i was out of breath, and struggling to find air when i met that starry, hazel eyes of yours. you made me feel this way, and i can’t […]

what is happening?

it had been days since we last talked. you ignored me when i texted you, you even avoided eye contacts when we met coincidentally. what is going around in your mind? you said you wouldn’t leave..but now? what is happening between us? is this really the end? am i not worthy of an explanation? what’s […]

Maaf ku pinta

Warkah ini ditulis dengan tangisan jiwa yang meronta. Oleh seorang insan yang keliru mencari jalan cahaya. Akulah dia, bayangnya malah kembarnya dan dialah aku. Aku selalu melihat ke dalam cermin menanti wajah yang sama. Namun sayang, tiada pantulan bayang. Hanya cermin yang kosong. Yang hina dan dina itu tetaplah aku. Tangan kotor berdarah meracik keimanan […]

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