I wish there would be another options for this. Another way for me not to end everything here. Not to leave & longing for the things I love. Couldn’t even believe that the time has come. It’s the decision that I’ve made but it’s also the decision that I’ve to take.
Underneath the reason that I gave, lies another reason for me to take this kind of action. Few may know the real story behind it but most of them didn’t. I described things that happen as mentally abused.
At first I always told myself that it was me who are not good enough. It was me me who couldn’t do that simple things. But later, little did I know, it was not all about me. It’s a two sides of a story.
I always believe that one day, the truth will be shown & people will know the real story behind it. But when that one day come, how frustrating it is when the wrong things was easily forgiven.
As if it’s not wrong for that person to do that kind of thing but it’s wrong for me to take it seriously. Which at the end, it effected me emotionally. I’m surprised & couldn’t believe my eyes.
And the results, I don’t believe I’m capable of doing anything right now. I feel demotivated and I feel downgraded. The situation swallow me deep down inside. It kills my confident & my strength.
I’m down at the moment but I’m glad I’ve a group of wonderful support system which never fails to wake me up whenever I feel down with myself.
Trust me, the action that I take was reasonable as I didn’t want to lead myself into some sort of mental disorder/illness. Which I believe, I could get it if I don’t make my move now.