Letting you go was never easy, it took fears and bad dreams. you would ask about it; about the dreams, bad or good, you listened when you are here, closer. but then you had to leave and i was not ready, but you left anyway. the fears live in my dreams and you let it ate me.
you told me to shut it off- the dreams and told me to believe in what you believed. i did, shut it off but it does not disappear like i wished it would. i remembered the sound of your voice – tired and invisible, when you wanted me to stop crying about it.
the fears i told you about – all of it, are here filling in every inch of me. you left, no conversations, no comfort, no more you. i am losing it but of course, you did not realize it happening. god, you notice nothing.
i couldn’t blame you, could i? and i can’t blame myself either. i never asked for bad dreams. now, go and do whatever you need and take all your times with you. i’ll be gone by the time you wake up.