This is not it

Maybe I’m putting too much thoughts into this, what kind of a woman begs- and still stay, unasked for   I guess I wanted you last night, tried to milk whatever comfort I can get from a man who finds no comfort in me   what kind of a woman that makes me   I […]

if they ask, I still love you

if it is not beautiful what do I make of these months; a giant crater, remnants of something burning & crashing onto the ground? still, I would write it off like a dream I chased after, a dream I would have given a whole lot more to carry if it knew to hold me back […]

ask for his heart

what changes, if I write more poems will he love me for it; pick up these words strung with hurt and call it his?   I would have crossed oceans for that man- make a haven out of my arms and let him stay so long as he wants   but here, there is very […]

sunsets

I do not know much about love stories but once, a boy gave me his tears when I was eleven and I looked at him until we were eighteen. once, a boy gave me roses and I looked at him until he gave someone else a ring. once, a man gave me his time and I am […]

Difficult days

There are difficult days; days I do not want to open my eyes but I do anyway, shower, put on clothes, throw a small smile when I meet people & hope they miss the emptiness of the simplest gesture- the way I’m programmed to appear like I’m not always falling apart you see, there are […]

Double shot espresso

i. hadn’t drank coffee in year I think the sequence goes a lot like heartbreak, coffee and then chest pain; I think I loved you so much a part of me resisted our common denominator, refuses to acknowledge the way every coffee cup feels like your fingers, will not hold them the same way ii. […]

The next best thing

my lonely cannot stand the cold it settled for the next warm body that offered himself up, called him the next best thing in line; convinced me that it is better to be stripped off contentment in someone’s arms at 2 a.m. than in front of the tv I pretend that there aren’t certain ways […]

Let me come to you

Come and wrap your carefree around me like a safety blanket I want to come home; find the bed where I left it last, all wide and warm and you if you let me I will unpack my bags stuff all the longing I carried with me in your pillow; they need to have a […]

December

december rolls over I miss him but I write another poem; bury my loneliness between words, I forget until it comes back december will pass longing shrivels with time if I leave the vineyard the grape does not become wine loneliness does not become liquor I hope he returns I hope he finds his way […]

He left me with 2 sticky notes

The yellow sticky note on the fridge says “don’t write about me” swear to god, I am trying but this morning I had trouble getting out of bed and I remember your hands like a claw machine; picking me up again and again until I made it out the door You were the kindest boy […]

It does not mean I stopped

When the boy asked to leave I held the door open; hands trembling I will not wear my pain like a lousy blouse with loose threads Neatly, I cut him off It does not mean I stopped loving the boy It means I love the boy enough to know that he will unravel me if […]

foolishness

I texted the boy months after I knew he was cheating; long after the anger dissipated and I was left with the helplessness of knowing I was not enough and I would have returned to him I would’ve licked my wounds and ran into his embrace Had he opened his arms Had he told me […]

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