I really mean it

I am still alive at the very second as I’m typing this down. Alhamdulillah. But also I am dying inside. Do people take me seriously when I say that I’m dying inside? The answer is no. Do people take me seriously when I say I want to die? The answer is also no. But I […]

628

I don’t know what is happening. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what’s the purpose. I no longer wait for days or weeks or months or years. I no longer have any excitement to continue living. I’ve been waiting, eagerly very, for the day that I’d leave. I see nothing good if […]

Mengira saat

Bila boleh saya pergi dengan tenang dari dunia ni Hi. I’ve left subtle hints. A lot. Everywhere. But none of them seemed to realise. And I kept telling myself, it’s just a matter of time. Soon they’ll figure out. But hey, it looks like that might not happen. Swollen eyes. Fatigue and paralyse limbs. And […]

schizo

“What a picture-perfect life he has” Bodoh. Tak habis-habis merungut. Entah sampai bila aku mahu mempersoalkan takdir. “Play the victim, that’s when everyone else starts to care” Pergi mampus. Aku tak perlukan sesiapa. “Pills. You need pills” Pills are for losers. They can’t even bear the pain they themselves created in the first place. “Here, […]

C1

“Untuk manusia yang tak layak aku gelar kawan” Satu torehan di tangan mula membentuk garisan halus dan bintik-bintik darah mula muncul. “Untuk keluarga yang tak pernah peduli” Satu lagi torehan, kali ini kulitnya tersiat sedikit. “Untuk kekasih yang beri harapan palsu” Torehan ketiga lebih dalam. Namun tidak sedalam luka pada hatinya. “Nobody cares. I should […]

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