dear you. love, me

17/1/19 knowing you, thought i didn’t have to cry like i used to no more. but i loved you so much that i cried even more. but you broke me like you never loved me, and you lied like i never mattered. so maybe i would say i wish we never met on that elevator. […]

was it hope or anything else

we always thought, that when we give in so much that we would get something back in return.  that’s what we always do, we hope. but they never actually tell you that hopes can actually kill. not physically.  it could ache every single part of you, and every single inch of happiness left in your […]

how after has been.

sometimes you think to yourself all the things you could still say to your lost significant other. somethings you’ve missed telling, or the little things you never told them. how you wish you could tell them you love them every and any time you wanted to. how you wish you could easily slip into their […]

first heartbreak vs the second

maybe i didn’t learn the first time that god gave me a second lesson beza the first time you get your heart broken and the second is that, time first, patah hati kaw, menangis hari hari, sampai bila tak tahu, not wanting to love anymore etc. you cry in your class, infront of your friends, […]

he and she

she was sad, he was mad. she was depressed, he was obsessed. she was blue, he was in pink. she had grey sky, he was sky high. she lost her mind, he never understood. she loves him whole, he played her soul. she was away, he had someone new. she was platinum, he wanted gold. […]

I fall apart

there were days where I was happy, by night I fell apart. but I’m not saying it has its times, because that kind of hour her tears stayed unheard. there were moments I felt tired, even when I’ve done nothing all day. and there are times where I lack of appetite, even when I have […]

damn overthinking questions

do you often think of what you are to someone? like what would they do for you, or with you or stand by you. do you get confuse because one moment it was sunshine and rainbow, and the other was thunderstorms and pouring rain. do you hurt when you realize you’ve hurt her when you’re […]

black and blue 7pm thoughts

sometimes when shit get so true, the truth is hard to follow, and when all you’re left is in blue, the ocean you seek and emotions you throw. the friends you thought were yours, are ones you felt most hollow, the times you replay in lonely hours, reality hits you back so shallow. still you […]

pain’s perspective

i forgot how it feels like to stop pretending. to be happy for real and for myself. i’m tired. very. unfortunately i have fallen too deep, and there’s nothing in anyone’s power that can save me. but i don’t need a savior, i am my own soldier and i live my own world and alone, […]

dear my dear ol’ self

it’t not your fault you had a mind of a maze, a mess of a mind, a mind you can’t run from, a place you’re being confined. it’s not your fault you’re feeling out of place, how you felt like a misfit, with confused emotions lost in dazed, in a place so lost, no heat […]

truth is:

when you cry for the seek of help, they don’t come. if they do, they take their time. they’ll wait until you’re at your breaking point. but by then it’s too late. and they will claim they saved you. when the only thing they’ve done was pull you off the cliff. not pull you out […]

if you fell for a poet

dear my dear, if you fell for a poet then that’s what you get. a person who can talk about you so purely beautiful, who can relate you to the most beautiful things in life, who carries you into a world of their own, a world where ink and paper were their subjects. if you […]

I’ve Scarred for Good

I’ve scarred. I’ve scarred for good, I’ve scarred myself for good and now every time I roll up my sleeves looking at it, there was nothing more than being disappointed in myself for being so vulnerable, being so fragile that I was capable of doing that to myself. Like I used to, I’d trace the […]

when will it stop.

“Can you see me, the way I hurt myself. Can you hear me, the way I cried in pain.” And all of these things were done, not only by a broken heart, but a broken soul, quiet lips, quiet tears, shouting minds, sprinting thoughts. With no support because everyone made them believe that talking to […]

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