enough to barter with

The weather was glorious. I remember the crimson coloured sky and the cozy breeze that came from the sea as I walked towards your car. Despite the calm weather, I was nervous. There was a turmoil going in my head. I could not even look at your face. I was too scared of finally having […]

the greatest disease of all

Sometimes, I don’t think I deserve this. Ever. I have nothing. After all, I am one to avoid. I am one not meant to be with anyone. I am.. empty. Not empty alone – just empty. Like my insides are all taken out so all you get is perhaps some leftovers. An empty vessel. I […]

yours

Two days ago, I had tears rolling on my cheeks as I drove away from you. It might not be a long separation, but I was sad. I felt lost. I felt as if there is a tether on my back tying me to you, and the car pulling me away. It really felt heavy […]

oblivious

Everything seems to be tumbling down all at once on my head now. As I was scrolling my cobweb-infested Facebook, I stumbled upon your name. I clicked on it. It was a bad move. I know things were hard. Circumstances hurt. You never told me things. What we had between us, I did not know […]

close strangers

Dear you, We haven’t talked. The only brief moment we had was that awkward encounter in which I faced one of the hardest thing to do – putting on a smile and pretending like nothing is wrong. I guess things must have hurt for you too. I understand. I don’t intend this to be a […]

love and fate

Love is a strange, powerful elixir. It possesses the power to turn you into something you are not. It has the ability to break or strengthen you. It changes you. I was whole before I met you. I was this independent, solitary woman who enjoyed a company of a friend or two sometimes. I was […]

tiny little details

I somehow memorize everything that involves you. Strange, because they are tiny details about a person, and I rarely pay attention to people. These details of you remain in my mind like a cobweb sticking on an old wall.   Your hair is getting longer. Not that I don’t like it, though. You always look […]

predicaments

The one thing about love that makes it sobering is that sometimes, it is not anyone’s fault You meet You fall deeply in love But then there is someone else. There will always be someone else Someone prettier, more handsome Someone with better circumstances Someone who will go out of of his or her way […]

bargaining with the universe

I don’t intend to lose you now. Please stay. Please stay. The longer, the better. I am still getting used to having you as an outlet. Let me learn. Let me learn to have you.These past odd years of chaos I had were not really good experience, albeit useful. So, please. Let me stay and […]

senseless

I am glad that I endured several heartbreaks to get to you. They weren’t easy, but needed. I am glad that underneath this chaos, there’s you and me NOT trying to make sense of the universe’s plan, because frankly speaking, it doesn’t matter anymore. My unwavering sense towards whatever it is that has you in […]

The undeserving

I truly believe that you will not read this, and you will never understand why I wrote this. We have this separate truths that I wish to not revisit and dissect, because frankly speaking, there’s no winning, and I hate losing. Truth is, I used to wrongly hate you. I spent a good few months […]

The Mess I Made

I was the one who was incapable of loving. I played with people’s hearts, I stomped on them like a foot stepping on a dry leaf. I was the epitome of a jerk. I wasn’t sure of the hows and whys. Wait, I am still not sure of the hows and whys. I have no […]

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