AM I being too emotional or not

friends is one of beautiful thing did we ever have in our life. but sometimes its gonna kill you likes no tommorow. Friends the place where you showed all your true self, tell a story, share a story etc when you far from your family. But when you tell all your secrets sometimes its not a good thing. because when comes in one day the will pulangkan back what you tell them. During that apa yang mampu aku lakukan hanya diam. There someone i know from my roommate sebab diaorg classmate. And dia tua dari aku dalam 3 tahun. Before this both of them are really close. But after a while i knew her, we become closer. Actually i really dont know how we became that close so quickly. Maybe there are one where all my roommates member decided to buy same menu while me totally opposite with them that time. Kebetulan waktu tu my friend ni nak makan sama dengan aku and dia nak kongsi with me. so i decided to eat with her. Bayangkan before this kami tak pernah cakap baik2 tapi sebab makan berdua je so i have no choice but to open topic so our conservation will not be dull. yeah we talked about many things only for one hours . i dont know why im being opened with her sedangkan for me to trust someone really hard. i think that time maybe im too emotional cus its been a while since i hold the feelings so i decided untuk luahkan waktu tu. and that time im cried bcus im so upset and mad. after that we become close and im so happy with that. but that time nak habis sem dah . so bila buka sem baru the first one yang aku contact adalah dia . im so happy all happened around me i will tell her. but biaslah when you knew someone for a long time baru akan nampak the true self. its all bcus she was so ego. not im not cakap buruk about her. tapi bagi aku when she tell all the nasihat sort of things and she does that i dont think its was advice for me to follow. and there are one moment where aku tersilap cerita dekat dia , aku tak tau dia akan terasa seteruk itu. and after that dia cuba jauhkan diri from my roommates , bayangkan aku tersimpit antara dua kumpulan. but bcus my roommates have each other i decided to choose her and ofc i still close with my roommates but aku cuma hatihati dari berbicara. aku banyak diam , actually rasa bersalah tu made me decided to act like that. but a while my friend ni jadi close dgn one of her classmate. bila aku lepak dengan dorang i dont feel comfortable at all bcus they layan aku macam i dont have feelings. sumpah aku pendam perasaan aku lama dah. apa yang diaorg buat aku terasa aku telan satu2 and still show my stupid faces in front them. Tapi lama2 aku rasa dia makin or maybe she started to show her true self. Sungguh aku lambat dia akan tayang muka marah and bila aku cakap dia layan aku acuh tak acuh . Tapi bila dia lambat she didnt give a shit. Aku tunggu setengah but she didnt care at all. Penat. and sekarang mulut dia makin biadap. she keep on call me bodoh all sort of things . i know it was simple words where maybe every bff will call you. but aku boleh terima bila dia cakap benda tuh with smile or laugh but not she always call me with that words with her serious face and muka yang cukup annoying. mula2 aku anggap benda tu takdak apa2 pun tapi everyday dia akan cakap perkataan tuh dgn muka annoying. sungguh aku terasa but still aku tk boleh buat apa and only mampu tunjuk muka stupid depan dia sambil tersengih-sengih. but harini aku tak mampu tahan banyak kali dah aku telan kata2 tuh harini bru aku ada encourage untuk cakap “kau yang bodoh” terus dia diam. aku puas, tapi dalam rasa puas hati tuh aku rasa bersalah gila sebab cakap macam tu yerla dia tua dari aku tiga tahun kut. biar biarlah dia rasa aku kurang ajar sungguh aku dah tak tahan but she tell me that sape2 yang cari pasal dengan dia, dia akan balas balik. yep dia adalah pendendam dan aku sayangkan hubungan ini. Tapi aku pula jenis cepat bosan. dia masih sama tak berubah malah makin teruk dn aku makin bosan dengan perangai dia. aku rasa dia berbuat sedemikian bcus she have other friends. she keep on tell me that her other friend memahami dia not like me. so i will stop till here. later i will talk again about this when i want to talk

Kebisuanku bukan pada perasaanku
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4 thoughts on “AM I being too emotional or not

  1. I’ve been where you are. And trust me when I say I regret not walking away when I had the chance. The thing is if your friend does not brings out the best in you, then they are NOT your friend. If they hurt your feelings and are inconsiderate, then move on. Yes, she may be older. But based on what you wrote, she is not wiser. And being older does not give anyone the rights to be rude or pijak kepala org. Anyway, I hope you’ll find your courage one day. ?

    1. thank you for read my story and thank you for your words. Actually its hard for me to walk away from her bcus out all of my friends only she knows me very well and she does understand me very well. She can read what I feel without i tell anything. For me to find that kind of friends is so hard that why for me to broke this friendship its tough .

      1. No problem. I love reading. I understand that either. You’re in a tight spot. That’s gotta be one heck of a dilemma. I can’t tell you what to do though, only what I can share based on your story. I know it’s not easy to break apart something that can define you or make you exist when anyone else just fails you. But maybe you’re meant to create another bond with another friend. Who knows. She understands you, but maybe she treats you badly because she understands you all too well. Maybe she knows whatever happens you won’t walk away and she’s invincible. I hope not. And that is why I really hope you will be strong enough to break away someday. Maybe. Someday. ๐Ÿ™‚

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