A sad post

Hye! I already forget how this website used to be my sweet private place. And today is a sad post. At least it is sad for me.

Last year, I lost my dad whom I love the most. The saddest thing is, I never got the chance to see him because we were like 1500 km apart. I still remembered bawling my eyes out once I received the news. My head hurt a lot from crying but it cannot beat how much my heart is hurting. My dad is a super healthy person which I do not think that he might leave us this early.

We promised to meet last summer. He told me that my mom missed me so she wanted me to go back home when actually, you are the one who misses me. You made an Instagram account just to know how I am doing over there. Tell me if this is not pure love.

Until now, I am faking myself not to cry or sad over this. Because I want to be seen as a strong person, at least in front of my mom. Deeply in my heart, I am no close to recovering from this loss. But with strong support from family and friends, I am able to do it.

I want him to know these things; I graduated from the University already, I got an A for this super hard class (because he witnesses my struggle in academic since I was in high school), I had a very great time with my friends before coming back to Malaysia, I did quarantine for 14 days, I soon joining this one academic program, I am driving, I am taking care of mom now but I know I am not doing it as great as you. And I am missing you forever. I know you already know this. I love you. And I know you love me too.

Believe me, there are so many things I want to share but I think I am just going to mess it up.

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