A reminder to the rest of us.

A comment that was too long to be submitted for immasinner’s Aftermath of Unsafe Sex

 

First and foremost, huge props to you for this story of repentance. It is something that should never be overlooked but due to the taboo nature of it is almost always are. It is always due to society’s stigma that our girls will be the one blamed if this were to occur. Doesn’t matter if the pregnancy was aborted or kept; our society only gives the evil eye to the female in the equation. The males got off scot-free.

 

That’s what we have to remember though. Sex is something that only MATURE ADULTS should act on (consent is a given). If you’re 14 and you’re mature enough to know why you’re doing it, how to keep you safe, and that it’s not a prerequisite for your love then go on. Have sex (just my two cents). As, maturity is not tied upon your age.

 

Although a bit harsh, these are a few reminders for the ears of others – for those teenagers in Malaysia who uses social mediums aka budak2 WeChat to practise their Anatomy Practical upon each other:

  • Sex is the responsibility of two parties. Both males and the females in the equation of sex. It’s not the responsibility of males alone. Trust me, when the blood is pumping downstairs, they won’t have sufficient blood to their brain. Somehow, that’s why their brain malfunctions and won’t work properly during sex.
  • Abstinence doesn’t work. So buy condoms. They are cheap. If you’re too embarassed to buy them, YOU ARE NOT MATURE ENOUGH YET! Go put some chastity belt on your crotch!
  • Kalau nasi dah jadi bubur, always trust your health practitioners/doctors. Disclose everything.
  • The only way to protect oneself is through educating both partners esp in precautions. It pains me to write this. But there will be some others who will advise – Pray to God that this won’t happen to us/our daughters/sisters. Like prayers alone should suffice, and that we should always dekatkan diri dengan Allah. That way, we will be protected. It doesn’t. At least not for everyone. It works for a minority of the population. With teenagers in Malaysia (the recent survey for Malaysian and Singaporean youths) that are non-practising Muslims/Christians; this is just one advice that does not work.

 

I hope you’re well enough now spiritually and physically and have recovered from this trauma. Remember, you don’t need friends or boyfriends to assert your value or your worth. You always have your family. Depend on them. But most importantly, you have to empower yourself. I doubt you are in this shoe alone. We’re all a sinner.

 

One line resonate so much – Love with lust, is not love at all. I sure hope that the romantics in everyone who are in love do not deny this one absolute truth.

 

PostScript: all the opinions above are just that. my own unsolicited opinions.

An agnostic romantic, and a queer literature aficionado; including but not limited to slash fan fiction (especially Drarry).
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2 thoughts on “A reminder to the rest of us.

  1. I can’t thank you enough for highlighting this. Giving a name to something that happens in our society. Putting light into a situation that many won’t talk.

    Precaution is the utmost important information one needs to be educated upon regarding sex.

    May you always be strong 🙂

    In spirit, and in health!

  2. Thanks for this.

    I do really hope with your writing, it will at least giving some thoughts for the readers to ever ponder upon it.

    It was my mistake, i didn’t practice safe sex because from my previous sex experiences, everything went so smoothly. Except for the recent one.

    But i really hope that if someone really want to have sex,
    use condom. and if you partner refuse to have sex,don’t force.

    Thanks again for this. Much love!

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