12th Of February

– I thought it was a special day. I’ve been waiting for this day for months. I’ve planned so much thing to make you happy, like everything, but what did i get in return? Just a heartache that doesnt stop hurting. If you ever knew what had i sacrificed for you and what will i sacrificed more for you, you will never treat me this way.

I used to believe in when you love something. You fight for them. But i learnt something in a hard way that sometimes its not worth it to fight for. But it’s okay, i will keep fighting. Giving up is not my style. I had worst than this. If i’ve tried my best and failed miserably, ill wake up and try again. I will always try to feel better again.

Stepping into 2017, I just want to make things easy for myself. I don’t want to complicate things. I believe letting things go will make me happy but i did not. For my self-development, I need to let go some things and people in my life. Well, there are times I miss so much and I am having a hard time to digest what’s going on because everything is changing so fast. There are things I don’t understand. I don’t understand how fast people can change. I don’t understand how fast they can replace us with someone else in their lives. I don’t understand the need to let go and move on. I can’t digest the art of letting things and people go. I am just confused. I don’t understand why people can’t be be good to us as we have been good to them even the fact that they are so madly in love with each other. It’s so confusing for me. Being in love and out of love. I am just having a hard time understand how things work. After few months struggling with my feelings. Dealing with my feelings. Now I understand. We just need to accept it and move on with our lives. I used to hate myself for loving someone so much and lose myself and my values loving someone. But now I understand.. We need to love ourselves. Every single thing about ourselves. Our flaws. Our insecurities. We need to accept them. And understand that when we love ourselves better than before, someone will come along the way and love us the way we are. ♡

At first everything is just nice. Until one day, you will get your heart broken. You will get disappointed of how things turned out in the end. You will get tired of being in love. You think of giving up but giving up on someone you love is never an option to you. You will get crazy of how disappointing your relationship can be. It takes efforts and you need to commit to your relationship. It’s getting harder and you are not happy as you used to be. But you chose to continue with the relationship. Then you get your heart broken into pieces again. Sometimes no matter how hard you tried to save a relationship, it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work out at all. If you ever want to be in love, love endlessly. Because nothing lasts forever. Feelings are temporary as well. Always bear that in your mind.

I understand how tiring life can be sometimes. How hectic your schedule can be. But learn to take breaks. Don’t give up just because you get tired. Everyone gets tired. But they know when to pause, take a break and continue doing whatever they are doing. It’s important to know your purpose in life. How much strength you need per day and how long it takes for you to succeed. Be ambitious. Don’t be afraid to take a step to grow. The only person who is putting a limit is yourself. Be limitless. Don’t get discourage just because everyone is doing okay. Your time will come. Pray because God knows best. And work hard because you know your determination will get you somewhere. Don’t give up because things get hard. Work extra harder when things get hard. Use your weaknesses as your strengths. Sleep and wake up feeling better than before. You have a brand new day. You have another shot to make it right ❤️

be beautiful - just the way you are :)
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