You know, I’m quite disheartened actually that day. When you invited me to your open house. Okay, it was a pleasure and delightful that you invited me to your house of course but it’s like you’re not so into me. When I first reach your house you were with your friends that I knew nothing about and you get all giddy together and I felt like I’m left out. Nonstop conversations, topics that won’t stop appear after one another and laughing that everything is so funny but not for me because I don’t understand a damn thing and I felt like I shouldn’t be talking about anything. It’s killing me that I want to leave so abrupt when I felt so unexistable. But I didn’t do that because every attention would be diverted to me instead.
When they about to go back, you guys took a picture together. I was lying when I say that I took a very bad picture because I’m darn jealous of you guys and you even see them off. Then we’re left together and we barely have anything to talk about unlike those guys before. There is this awkward tension between us that stop the conversation flows, the topics from popped out like those Whack-a-mole games and it was like we barely knew each other for 6 years and I hate that.
So I left your house without any picture taken without you seeing me off. I am jealous although that’s hard for me to digest. We used to be like that, chatting about each other’s crush until late morning, relying on each other’s back even though when your mom have to transfer back to Bangi, I would always call you during your prep at MRSM saying that you’re the room is on fire because everyone is so confused with Additional Maths, or you’re calling me in the evening when I’m on top of motorcycles and like you’re the bestest of friends that I have ever had. For me at least…
We are pretty close until that day. You did apologize about that saying that it’s unintentional but that hurts me pretty far deep inside. There is some time that I felt the needs to talk to you or maybe send a message and be like normal friends but then I remember you had better friends and that I’m not that important and close to you anymore.