It’s crushing me

I’m having a very hard time, apparently 2018 is not a good year for me. i do not know if i coud ever turn things aorund, to make them better. But i’m not in a very good place right now. My head is heavy, im feeling nauseous, my thighs hurt, my feet hurt, i can’t […]

Your Favourite Place

When moments stretched into years I knew then and there that if I was the ocean You’ll be the waves And no matter how big the waves are, how angry and unsettling it is the ocean will always forgive Your words, even the unspoken ones Are etched into my skin like markings As if to […]

Perspective – Don’t lose hope

Selalu dengar orang kata, bila kita ditimpa ujian ni kita akan lebih dekat dengan Tuhan. Dan sebagai seorang muslim, kita percaya kesusahan yang menimpa kita adalah tanda kasih sayang Tuhan kepada kita. Sebagai ujian untuk menentukan tahap keimanan kita. Tapi bagaimana dengan orang yang bila dia susah dia jadi lebih jauh dari tuhan? Lagi lah […]

pray for me

i havent read anything lately. nor have i wrote something. i feel quite empty. i have lots and tons of books to be read, but i simply doesnt have the will to read it. i wanted to write something, but nothing come the moment my finger hit the keypad. i miss reading. and writing. i […]

I’m not nice.

I don’t feel nice. People tell me I’m nice. I do nice things. I do things to make other people’s life easier. I try my best to make sure I don’t burden them. I help them in any way I could. But that doesn’t make me nice. People say I’m nice. I say all the […]

Definition

Oh here we are again Another relationship after we failed before So what is this Will the cycle continues Will I still be the victim Will you say you’ve had enough Maybe I’ll be the player Maybe I’ll leave you broken Maybe I’ll be enough for myself Perhaps this relationship are just about waiting ; […]

Peringatan demi peringatan.

Duri pada ros itu tajam, Tapi kau harus tahu, Duri pada ros itu, tiadalah kejam, Duri ros itu tiadalah pura-pura, Zahirnya duri tajam itu memberikan amaran, Sesiapa yang yang sengaja mengusik duri itu, Sememangnya rasa sakit jarinya tertikam. Janganlah salahkan duri, Salahkan diri tiada guna deria akal dan perhati Duri itu sudah jujur secara zahir, […]

Aku dan kawan kepada pengalaman aku,Skizo.

Buka mata, buka akal, Hentak hati, ego mati, Bina diri, makan diri, Diamnya diri,Diamnya delusi. Rasa sunyi, rasa lagi, lagi sunyi, lagi bunyi. Aku harap masih hidup, buku dan kopi aku hirup, Tiada tempat untuk aku, muntah peta, kemudian layu terpaku, Layu terpaku, akal celaru, Celaru akal, celaru hati, sedar diri, tiada diri, hilang diri, […]

Kecelaruan dan pengalaman aku.

Mulut tutup diam, Kerana mereka tidak faham, tak semua orang boleh hadam kebenaran makan dalam. Mereka kata aku gila, Aku kata mereka buta. Ya, kini aku gila dan aku pernah buta, melihat diriku lama yang pada kebanyakkan mereka kini yang buta. Aku skizofrenik banyak celaru identiti dan aku punya hati untuk lenyapkan diri kerana aku […]

Nobody should feel this way

I feel like my resilience is getting weak. I guess my way of quick fix doesn’t seem to be working anymore. I feel like I slowly become submissive to these emptiness and loneliness or maybe something that you’d call it a sickness. Nevertheless, it’s like part of me that handles that resilience thing has finally […]

Slippery slope

Are you listening? Are you there? May I ask you to keep me company? I promise to be good Just, Hear me out on this just one more time Do you ever hear about haptic memory? The memory specific to touch stimuli Like when I touched your hands without seeing them I know they’re yours […]

Be brave

If there’s one thing that I love about myself is the fact that I’d say what I want to say I used to hold myself back in fear of rejection in shame of being so outspoken girls should let the guys make move first. They said I was being too easy They said I love […]

Bisik Hingga Ke Washington, DC

aku menari senang di dalam mimpi kamu tersenyum riang menjadi puteri kamu ini sepertinya, sama persis— mimpi-mimpi yang sering aku dambakan namun tak sekali aku cuba mimpikan hinggalah kamu muncul muncul menculik aku, lantas menghias cantik aku dengan cinta kamu esakan kamu, sayu tak aku biarkan dihembus bayu— pandang aku sayang dengarkanlah aku bukan kamu […]