I need a cure.

If only being dead is easy just like erasing memories and stop the pain from bleeding, you will find me dead a long time ago. But being dead ain’t easy, so do living this life. Fighting against depression and the thought of I never meant to be happy is not easy. Waking up everyday realizing […]

Difficult days

There are difficult days; days I do not want to open my eyes but I do anyway, shower, put on clothes, throw a small smile when I meet people & hope they miss the emptiness of the simplest gesture- the way I’m programmed to appear like I’m not always falling apart you see, there are […]


I know it’s not true I know it’s not me But how can it has a strong grip on my personality I have to control it I have to break free But I found my head stepped on the sole of its feet I don’t feel like myself and I thought could it be That […]

For you, Flower.

I know how it feels to not to have someone to confide into. I know how it feels to cry alone. I know how I feels to suddenly broke into tears with no apparent reason. I know how that feels. I know how it feels to choke up on nothing but your own thoughts. I […]

Apa itu Sayang

Bila disoal apa erti sayang, diriku kaku, mulutku membisu terlalu takut membicarakan apa erti sayang bagiku Bila disoal apa erti sayang, Ceritera kasih ibu dan ayah, harus ku papah kerna bagiku itulah punca segala makna hidup sekurang kurangnya itu apa yang telah mereka bicarakan. Bila disoal kapan akan ku ucapkan sayang Aku gugup membicarakan jawapan […]

Death is a dream.

To think about death, and dying are two different things, but somehow they muddle in the middle. Do humans ever be grateful of what they have? Or would they only smile when the whole world, every single thing they ever wanted come crashing down on them, would they smile? Or would we say… “Fuck, berat […]

Your feelings don’t matter. Please think of someone else.

“Think of your siblings” yea. the siblings. that are more than 9 years older than i am. The siblings that each have a respected career and title. The siblings that grew up with somewhat of a family. OF COURSE things will affect them more than it can ever affect me. Why would it affect some […]

Tulisan Pengharapan.

Siapakah aku untuk mempersoalkan perancangan Allah? Siapakah aku untuk bertanya sebab dan mengapa kebahagiaan ku selalu sementara. Hati yang luluh menitipkan doa kepada Allah yang Teragung, kapan kah aku mampu bahagia untuk jangka masa yang lama? Di malam yang sunyi aku selalu menadah tangan, memanjatkan doa dengan berbisik jauh di sudut hati. “Dugaan apakah ini […]

A Feeling I Never Had

What does it feels like, in your darkest nights and gloomy days, to have one that shines, that you could at least, have a little bit of its reflection. to have one that protects you like an umbrella in a stormy and rainy day. to have one that is filled with colors, so that a […]


penat . aku penat . memikirkan segala hal dunia , menjaga hati perasaan manusia , mendengar semua kata tomahan , menahan diri dari mengalirkan air mata , menyeksa diri untuk terus kembali . Aku ingin pergi , lari , menghilang , tiada lagi kata kata yang dapat membantu ku , aku buntu , aku tekad […]

again, my heart beats.

in young people’s chests, lives a huge thing called the heart. it pounds all the time and makes you embarrassed. it makes us losers that can’t do anything. but when i became an adult and finally got to control it, this heart of mine seemed to have stopped its movement. I’m not even sure if […]

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Move on. Not as easy as we write it down. Not as easy as you spend your money on things you like. It takes courage. No matter how you think about moving on, if your heart is not allowing it, you’d still feel your left chest aching. Pin 0

Never Learn

I feel bad for all of your pains and want to help you solve your problems. To block the rumors, tightly hold your hand, and fly forward. I believe that love can prove everything. If I’m sincere enough, it’ll surpass time. Though I’ve sacrificed more, I’ll also be happier and be happy longer. I can […]


If you are given a chance, would you go back to your past and change a thing about yourself? For me, I do. Because there are foolish things that I have done in my past that I wish I would never encounter that kind of things at such a young age. I want to rebuild […]


Toxic, is best to describe him, For years I abdicate myself for him, What do i get in return? Just another heartbreak. All hell break lose if i decided not to listen to him, But he hides his own wrong doing from me, I was the foolish one, For letting he hurt me, Not Physical […]